Sunday, December 20, 2009
Breaks
Speaking of the break... For every day that I report to work and complain to myself that I have to be there, once these breaks hit, I rediscover the glorious perks of being a teacher. Maybe it's because I'm used to getting the breaks, but I really can't imagine having a job that didn't get 2 weeks for the holidays, a week for spring break, a 5 day weekend at Thanksgiving, a 3 month recess during the summer, and a handful of 3 and 4 day weeks scattered throughout the year.
Yes, it's a tough life. Teach little kids all day, then get rewarded with breaks. Happy Holidays to all!
Until next time,
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Tweeting the picks
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Cuts
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Bad Presentaton
Saturday, October 24, 2009
College Picks Week 8
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Morale Victories and College Picks 7
I’m not talking about moral victories; I don’t believe there are such things. I thrive on competition in my daily life, and anyone who says there are moral victories, probably just lost.
What I do enjoy are morale victories. This is a concept I completely made up, but it keeps my long commutes to work interesting, and fills the requirement for competition in everything I do. A morale victory is one that awards no prize other than pride, and is rarely recognized by any individual other than the “winner.”
For example…
Just yesterday I stopped to fill up my gas tank. Boring right? Probably for the average person that stops at the pump., but for me, I’m just entering the arena baby. I step out of the car, swipe my card for 20 cents off per gallon, and start filling. I know it’s going to be about 15-16 gallons, so I rush to the window cleaner thingy and start to wipe down the windshield. I finish, return the thingy, and head back to the pump with my gameface on. I crack my knuckles, loosen my fingers, and prepare for pump stoppage, and survey the pump. The numbers are closing in on my mark quickly... 14 gallons, $31, $32, 15 gallons, $33, I grasp the handle, $33.85, I prepare for the moment. STOP!!!!! $34.00 even, WINNER WINNER CHICKEN DINNER, PERFECT PUMP BABY!!! A mental fist pump caps off a morale victory at its best, and then the better part is that you get to leave the perfect pump on the display for the next person to see, tell me there is a better feeling?
Another example happens almost daily on my ride home from work. Coming south on 71 I like to travel in the left lane. The right lanes are often crowded with old people and semis. When you’re in the left lane you get that guy that’s in the biggest rush of his life and comes speeding up behind you. I typically LOVE this guy because he’s going to get ahead of me and if there are any cops up ahead, they get him instead of me. But, he’s in such a rush that instead of giving me a second to pass the semi that occupies the middle lane, and then get over and let him by, he cuts right across all 3 lanes, and tries to go past everyone. Idiot! I take this as a challenge, and give a little extra gas so that I can get ahead of the semi, and try to get the guy stuck in the right lane beside me and the semi, and behind whomever is in the right lane at the time. A mental fist pump, and an evil sounding laugh gives me a morale victory that lifts my spirits for the rest of the ride, you know the feeling.
Let’s get to the week 7 picks…
Last week I went with the road team theme, and it totally paid off bringing me back to .500 against the spread for the year. I’m going to stick with the theme of today, morale victories, and pick all underdogs. Why is that a morale victory? I’m looking vegas straight in the eye and saying “how dare you give me this many points,” and when I cover I can laugh at vegas “ha ha ha vegas, outsmarted yourself a little huh?” (It makes sense to me and that’s all that counts)…
Texas vs Oklahoma (+3.5)
Iowa @ Wisconsin (-2.5)
South Carolina @ Alabama (-18)
Arkansas @ Florida (-25)
Season 13-13-0
Until next time,
Saturday, October 10, 2009
College Picks Week 6
Friday, October 2, 2009
College Picks Week 5
Friday, September 25, 2009
College Picks Week 4
Good thing I have a real job. But, lets take the true gamblers mentality and think that everything can be healed with a perfect week 4....
Minnesota @ Northwestern (+1)
Two bad teams. I like the Gophers to be not as bad.
Cal @ Oregon (+6.5)
I actually don’t like this game all that much. But, because I know my buddy Brent bet Cal, and my picks have been sub-par to this point, I thought I would jinx Oregon for him. I like the ducks at home. Actually, I really think the PAC -10 teams have more of a home advantage than any other conference, guess we’ll see.
The U @ Va Tech (+2.5)
Some people say that it is just OSU’s luck that The U is getting better right when we get to play them the next two years. I happen to think it is great. I want to play the best teams, and right now, I think The U is for real, I’ll give the points.
Iowa @ Penn St (-9.5)
The Nittany Lions “totally redeem themselves.” Not even a close one.
Season: 6-8-0
Until next time,
Saturday, September 19, 2009
College Picks Week 3
Nebraska @ Va. Tech (-3.5)
Anybody ever watched the you tube clip of the Hokies entering the stadium and their crowd going nuts? It's pretty cool. Hokies at home.
Tennessee @ Florida (-29.5)
This is an eff you game for the Gators. Gators BIG!
Florida State @ BYU (-8.0)
I'm still not sure what to think of any ACC team. I expect FSU to keep it somewhat close for awhile, but BYU has too much in the end. BYU by double digits.
Georgia @ Arkansas (+2.5)
UGA gets a good win on the road.
Texas Tech @ Texas (-18.5)
If I had a college fantasy football team, I'd want most of my starting lineup to come from this game. A late touchdown allows the red raiders to cover in a high scoring game.
Season: 4-5-0
Until next time,
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Elementary Experiences Part 1
Saturday, September 12, 2009
College Picks Week 2
After going 2-3 against the spread last week, I’m in need of a positive week. I bet with my heart last week against Notre Dame, and as we all know that always spells trouble.
Week 2 is another tough one as there aren’t really too many games of high interest, but here we go…
UCLA @ Tenn (-8.5)
I know UCLA is young, and I love the attitude Lane Kiffin brings. With a whoopin’ looming from the Gators, I expect the vols to run it up this week while they still can.
Purdue @ Oregon (-11.5)
Not sure what to expect from Oregon after the debacle in week 1. I’ll take the Boilers to score a touchdown late to cover the spread.
South Carolina @ Georgia (-7.5)
I was unimpressed with both teams in week 1. I’ll take the points, and the ol’ ballcoach.
Notre Dame @ Michigan (+3)
My heart says take the Big Ten. My mind says take the Irish. ND wins by 4.
Season- 2-3-0
Until next time,
Sunday, September 6, 2009
The New Job
Sounds like I'm the only one with anything really happening.
Here is what my day now consists of...
I lazily get out of bed about 6:15am and start the coffee and feed the dog. I then get on the computer and check my email and read the dispatch online. Once i hear the beep of the coffee maker i pour myself a piping hot cup of joe and take a stroll with the pup around the block. When i return, I eat breakfast, shower, and take my good ass time getting around because I dont have to be to school until most of you guys are 1 period into the day. I show up at 8:00 and waste time until 8:20 when I have to go out to the corner of channing and 37 and act as the crossing guard until 8:40 (and you fools complain about a lunch duty or something, HA, try being the safety patrol for a bunch of kids that absolutely cannot wait to cross the street and run into the school. it's like holding back a drunk student section when a trip to the national championship is in the bag). From 8:40 until 9:00 I have to say hi and give hugs to about 100 kids that come down to the gym to tell me they think I'm great (HA, fooled em). At 9:00 i have to stand for the Pledge of Allegiance and then my first class comes. For the next 40 minutes I can tell the kids whatever I want and they cheer and run around in circles like its christmas morning. Then I do that 2 more times, and at 11:00 i sit down for lunch. I read emails, browse the net, and write long replies like this one until 12:55 when my next class comes in. I then have 3 classes in the afternoon, one of which is usually kindergarten. Kindergarteners take any directions you give them, and immediately toss them out the window and just run around the gym until they are soaked in sweat, and occasionaly redirect themselves to collectively trying to tackle the teacher as a class. Once i shoo them off me, they run more laps until finally it is time to go and they gotta give you another hug before they leave. At 2:55 my day concludes with me sitting at my desk and figuring out what I will do the next day, and I head home around 3:30. By the time I reach home I'm ready for a cold one and dinner, and then hit the sack around 9:00.
Now thats work!
Note to anyone going into education: take the elementary route. The kids want to be there, and want to learn. Yes, it is exhausting to be with the little rascals all day, but in the end it is much more rewarding and much easier to come to "work" every single day.
Until next time,
Saturday, September 5, 2009
College Picks Week 1
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Simple Strategy
I enjoy game shows. I enjoy watching people smarter than me get on TV and win tons of money. What I enjoy even more than that, is answering the question or solving the puzzle quicker than the person on TV, and feeling much smarter than them even though i know i just answered the $200 question before Alex even called on anybody.
I always like to put myself in the shoes of the person on the show; What letters would be best to choose, solve or spin, how much should I wager, risk it or stop here. Naturally, whenever the person on the show doesn’t do what I think they should, I call them an idiot and question how they got on the show. That is usually followed with someone saying, “it’s easy to see that from here, they are probably under a lot of pressure.” Sounds familiar doesn’t it?
Anyway, I was watching Jeopardy the other night and saw someone lose the match because of stupid wager. The players in first and second place both got the question wrong (player 3 was way behind so I don’t remember what they answered) and the person in first place still won. Sounds right, right? NO NO NO. I’ve seen this too many times, some goofball gets on this show that can answer anything about 14th century European authors, but simple game strategy never crosses their mind. In hopes of one of my readers getting on Jeopardy one day, I’m going to share this strategy (that you hopefully already have thought of, and will claim you have even if you haven’t), follow along…
Going into FJ, Player 1 has 10,000, Player 2 has 8000, and Player 3 is completely out of the race with 1500, so this is the last mention of Player 3. Player 2 should know right now that Player 1 is going to wager AT LEAST 6001 in order to guarantee that he will win. So, Player 2 knows that the only way he can win is if Player 1 gets the question wrong. This leaves no reason for Player 2 to wager everything. Player 2 should wager anywhere from 0 to 4000, and really has no reason not to bet the full 4000. This way, if Player 2 gets the question wrong he ends up with 4000 as an end result, and wins the match because Player 1 got the question wrong and had to bet 6001 and ends with 3999.
Sounds confusing, but it’s really very simple. I know it doesn’t always apply, but when the scores are right, I haven’t figured out why these really smart people don’t think of this.
If I only knew my European authors.
Until next time,
Monday, August 17, 2009
Worst Week for the Teacher
I’m a big fan of legendary UCLA basketball coach John Wooden. I am fascinated enough with him that I have read 4 books that he has co-written and listened to another book about him on tape. One of the many sayings that he was fond of was “the journey is better than the inn.” While a positive end result in any situation, especially sports, is often extremely satisfying and enjoyable, looking back on all of my sports experiences it was the journey (the people, the struggles, the adversity, the camaraderie, the development) that I remember, not the inn (a win, or a championship).
I played 9 holes of golf this morning with a buddy from Gahanna. As we walked one of the fairways I thought about how much I hate this week, and Andy being a fellow teacher agreed. This final week of summer, to me, is even worse than the first week of school. The entire week I think about the looming school year, the lack of preparation I have managed to do, and the 9 months of actual work I will muscle through. All these depressing thoughts are compounded by the thoughts of what I didn’t do in the past 3 months. I didn’t go to Maui, played far too little golf, and only had one fire in the backyard. I sit and debate with myself countless times “should I go in and do some work or…?” I end up putting it off another day, only to sit around the house and think about the work I should be doing and how horrible it will be when I actually do go in. It’s kind of like the opposite of Coach Wooden’s saying in that I cannot wait to actually get to the inn because the mental journey of this last week flat out stinks.
The best part about the inn in this case is that it signals the beginning of a new journey for me. I am very excited about starting my new position as the physical education teacher at Conger Elementary and Carlisle Elementary. I’ll be spending 2.5 days at each school, welcoming over 750 wound up kindergarten through 4th graders into my classroom weekly. I’m excited because 99.9% of those kids that enter will be excited to be there, a big change from the 20% that are excited at the high school.
Coach Wooden’s most famous quote may be “be quick, but don’t hurry.” And to this week I say “be quick” and while I’m excited to go back, I still say “don’t hurry” to the looming world of work.
Until next time,
Sunday, August 2, 2009
Loving Dan
Of course I love my wife. I love her for many many reasons.
One reason that immediately comes to mind is the fact that when we go out to dinner she rarely finishes her entire meal. I often base my dinner selection on her dinner selection. Lets say I’m looking at getting the open faced roast beef, or the turkey dinner. Dan rescues me from one of the greatest stressors I have in my life (the agony of selecting off of the Bob Evans menu) by ordering the turkey dinner. I know almost for a fact that a good portion of that will be left over, so I go ahead with the roast beef and get the best of both worlds. If you don’t get why that is such a great thing, I wonder where you find joy in life. (ha, how did I ever avoid fat camp?)
Another reason happened about 20 minutes ago and inspired this entry. We just finished watching Big Brother, turned immediately to ESPN where the Dodgers were playing the Braves and Manny Ramirez was being shown on the screen playing left field. The conversation…
Dan: (very cute chuckle) Who is that?
Me: (No answer due to the fact that it was Manny and I was thinking in my head “who doesn’t know who Manny is”)
Dan: (chuckle progresses to all out laugh) it looks like they just found some homeless man and asked him to stand out there
Me: (thinking, “wow that was pretty damn funny”) That’s Manny Ramirez, one of the greatest baseball players ever.
Dan: (still laughing) He looks like Happy Gilmore’s caddy
For someone who loves sports as much as myself, my wife’s simple observations often bring me great satisfaction. When Dan and I watch sports we see the game from totally opposite angles. I could never see Manny Ramirez as the homeless man in left field, or see Dwight Howard as just the tall boy that just keeps dunking it every time. While somewhat true, it’s a completely different viewpoint that is one of the many reasons I love my wife.
Monday, July 27, 2009
Practice?
When I was a kid, I used to spend hours and hours shooting a basketball. I’d shoot and shoot until my imaginary game as a member of Michael’s Bulls ended with me hitting the winner over Magic or Worthy. And if I missed the shot, there’d be an imaginary late whistle, or a scorebook correction to send it to overtime. I can’t remember a loss, I hate losing and c’mon, who loses the imaginary game? Those misses that I had would eat at me. I knew in my head I shouldn’t have won the game, so it would actually lead me to shoot more and more, sometimes so late into the night that mom or dad would have to tell me to come in because they figured I was keeping the neighbors up. What I’m getting at, is that I practiced and practiced to become very good at a skill that allowed a 6’3” un-athletic white boy to play four years of college ball. A very simple equation, hours of practice = mastered skill.
I fully realize that in no way could I have ever stepped onto a basketball court and competed at a high level without that practice. So what is it about the game of golf that leads me to believe that I can just show up to a course and play at a sufficient level? I am that guy that steps on the course and expects greatness. I seriously step on every tee box and envision a great drive, a great approach, and a great putt. Then, after aligning my shot and chunking my tee shot 50 feet in front of me, I’ve got the nerve to toss my driver 30 yards down the fairway in disgust. Then, while being very mentally tough in almost every other activity I do, I let the 50 foot tee shot bother me for the next 5-10 shots and card a 4 over, 8 on a 319 yard, dead straight, par 4, what a great game. Seriously though, it’s great. What a challenge. So, why can I not get myself to go practice?
I’ll tell you why. The other day I suffered through a hole only to find myself standing over a 25 foot triple bogey putt. I knelt down and lined up the putt just like the guys on TV. I tricked myself into believing I knew what I was doing as I gave three smooth practice strokes. I then took a deep breath, and one last look at the hole. Backswing, contact, follow through, bending, breaking……….. IT’S IN THE HOLE!!!
No imaginary whistle or correction needed, who needs practice?
Until next time,
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Apologizing to John Adams
I’m turning in my family. That’s right, I want them prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law for raising me to ‘mis-celebrate’ one of our nations most glorious and celebrated days, July 4th.
You see, while reading my buddy Brent’s blog (click here) about celebrating this historic day, I realized that for 25 years July 4th has meant goodbyes, sadness, 12 hour drives in a minivan stocked with 6 adults, 2 dogs, and twice as much luggage as needed, and the end of my absolute favorite time of year.
Each year right around this time I start looking forward to next year’s beach week. Beach week is when my family and the entire Zulauf side rent a house on the beach and have exhausting days of sitting in the sand listening to the ocean, playing bocce ball, boogey-boarding, and drinking yuengling. It is hands down my favorite time of year. It’s like a week-long celebration of good times and family that we get to look forward to all year, pretty much the very thing you wanted us to do when you spoke of July 4th some 200 years ago.
The problem is that each year the celebration ends within a day or two of July 4. And to make matters worse I really only get to see my cousins 3, maybe 4 times a year because they live in Virginia. And it’s really cool too because when we do get together it’s like we see each other all the time. We hit mid-season form with smart-ass comments, debates, and storytelling within minutes. There’s really never a dull moment. For me it’s like having two brothers for a week that you never really fight with, awesome right? I want all this used as evidence against my Uncle Harry for taking a job in the mid 1980’s that moved them from Columbus to Richmond. I know it has worked out great for them, they are all happy, but come on, I’ve got to be a little selfish here because if they still lived here I’d see them all of the time.
I’ve got to confess as well. I don’t exactly get over goodbyes all that well. So, when I do get home in time for fireworks and parades, my emotions are still so low that I don’t do anything to celebrate freedom. As a matter of fact I do the opposite. Like this year I slept for 6 hours (partly because I drove from 1:30am-6) and then got up and pouted about being home for a solid 2 hours, then made a very lame attempt at celebrating by watching fireworks from the sidewalk in front of our house while throwing a fake “ooo” or “ahh” out of my state of depression every 10 booms or so, but really never got into it.
So anyway, I just want to say I’m sorry. I really haven’t celebrated July 4th the way it is supposed to be celebrated. I’m prepared for whatever sentence my family and I receive, just please keep it to under 348 days, we’re leaving for the beach.
Thanks,
Scott
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Harmless Fun
I feel like summer hasn’t even started yet. This is the first June since I was 7 that I didn’t play golf, probably the first June ever that I never went to the pool just for fun, and also the first June in which the most exciting thing I did was drive to Grove City, Pennsylvania to film a dance recital for 224 Productions.
I wrote that last sentence as a joke but unfortunately had to think for a second of something that was better. Thinking about it though, I really did have a great time on the ride back. Brent and I talked about many things, but my favorite happened to be the topic of what we did with our friends when we were young for what we called “harmless fun.” “Harmless fun” was defined as something you did that you definitely shouldn’t have been doing, but really couldn’t get in too much trouble for, and if your parents knew about it (especially our respective pairs) they would act super mad but really would be thinking inside “thank God they are doing that and not shrooms” and would make you apologize to people or something embarrassing.
Anyway, we told of TPing and the usual mischief, but Brent and I both brought to the table one specific act that neither neighborhood gang thought up themselves…
Brent and his buddies carried on the tradition of taking a pick up truck around town and piling up yard waste bags full of leaves into the bed. They would then take all of the bags and rip them open in the middle of someone’s front yard. I know everyone reading this is thinking, “how awful that would be to wake up and look out and see all of that, let alone pick it all up.” Exactly right, AWFUL. The tradition I speak of though is due to Brent’s first experience with this being picking up the leaves when a group of his father’s football players did it to his house when he was a kid. This certainly doesn’t condone the behavior, but c’mon, it’s hilarious to think about.
I then told the story of “dead homies.” My friend’s parents used to stuff a pair of jeans and flannel shirt full of leaves and put a pumpkin head on them to make a dummy for the front porch at Halloween time. We borrowed the dummy, replaced the pumpkin with a duct taped group of newspapers and a ball cap, and also taped an old pair of tennis shoes on him, then named the dummy “Dre.” We would take Dre down to the bottom of High Point hill and place him under a streetlight just off of the road face down with an overturned bicycle laying next to him. We would hide back in a wooded area about 30 yards from the road and roar laughing each time someone would come to a very concerned stop only to realize it was just Dre. Another AWFUL act, something that would probably be frowned upon, but now that it is over and done with, again I say c’mon that’s hilarious to think about.
Yes both stories are silly, immature little things we used to do. However, they provided a million laughs then, and also got us back from Grove City, PA in good spirit.
Disclaimer: Please do not attempt either scenario.
Until next time,
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Properly Interviewed
I interviewed at Licking Valley Middle School this morning at 8:15. A lot of things were going through my head on the way out there, probably much of the same things anyone going to an interview would have. How do I respond to this, how do I respond to that, what if they ask me this, what sounds better this or that.
My biggest concern though happened to be whether or not I would actually get to show who I am. I have always been pretty good at speaking with people. I don’t really get nervous, I can talk about a variety of topics, I have experiences to share, and for the most part I think I come across as a confident person, which has to look good to a prospective employer. I was concerned that I wouldn’t get the freedom to let myself shine in the interview. In the teaching interview process, often times the first interview is a set 25 questions in which the employer is looking for key phrases or buzzwords that seem universal to the teaching profession. I’d imagine I do an average job answering those questions, and probably more because of the confidence I answer them with than the actual key phrases I include (those phrases are most likely the ones that were in the text book we were supposed to read for the education courses at The Harvard, need I say more).
Anyway, in the interview, we started with those 25 questions, and I feel as though I did a pretty good job. A typical interview that I went through 3 years ago would have ended there, however in this interview that was only the beginning. We chatted for another 30 minutes about teaching styles, district philosophies, where we each had come from, building goals, life goals, coaching experiences, and more. I felt like I got the chance to truly show who I was, not just to answer the same 25 questions everyone knows are coming and can have a pre-planned answer to. The Principal genuinely tried to find out what type of teacher he was hiring, and more importantly, he tried to find out what type of person will be representing his building to the students, staff, and community of Licking Valley Schools.
If I am not the guy chosen for the job, then I feel like I at least was given a fair shot, and I did my best. I hope that most interviews are like this nowadays. I have seen first hand in the past 3 years that the person is much more important than the teacher. There are teachers that are extremely qualified for the academic portion of the field, but I truly believe that no matter how much of an expert a person is on the subject, if they don’t have the personality to relate to others, their message is not nearly as effective.
I feel confident that I showed myself as both a quality teacher and quality person. (despite what you all would say about me)
Note: I had to put that pathetic joke in just because when I wrote the last sentence I pictured my dad calling someone up to recommend them to an employer. Then turning around and letting the person know that “I told them you were a good person, despite what everyone always says about you.”
Second note: You know it’s a terrible attempt at comedy when you have to explain your lame joke.
Yes, this is the person Licking Valley might get. I hope middle school kids laugh at lame jokes.
Until next time,
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
School District GM
I’ve been thinking lately as I go through the hiring/ firing/ application process about just that, the hiring/ firing/ application process for a school district. A couple things come to mind…
1. When you hire a teacher, if you are a well-paying, high quality district, you’re basically hiring a teacher for life. Now, are there a few that don’t continue on for whatever reason? Yes, but I’ve got to believe that with the way the economy is Today, the big districts are hiring the same teachers they will have in 25 years.
2. With that said, each district wants to save money so they are hiring teachers with say 5 or less years of experience. Because of the way teachers are paid, by experience not performance, the young and more inexperienced are the cheaper ones to have on the books.
So, districts are hiring the best of the cheapest teachers Today, then 25 years down the road all of these teachers are going to be getting paid a pretty nice salary, all at the same time. There really isn’t any thought process of spacing out salaries such as one that would be used with a professional sports team. This is kind of a scary thought for a teacher right now. I do believe our economy is going to turn around, but still, it seems to me that districts are going to have to start subtly changing the way they pay teachers, or at some point they are going to have a ton of teachers making a ton of money, and will have no way of getting rid of them.
This is completely just a thought I have had, and I admittedly don’t know all of the science behind it, but I propose that a district hires a “GM.” Each district should come up with a salary cap, and then it is this person’s job to keep them under the salary cap not only in the current year, but should also plan ahead. For example, many districts now have the goal of keeping the average experience of new hires at 3 (for every person with 6 years experience you must hire one with 0). That sounds good, but 27 years from now the district is paying all of these people the max salary. The district GM would be responsible for not putting an exact number on the average experience, but would be responsible for advising the district when it would be wise to go ahead and hire someone with 15 years of experience, and pay them that way in order to maintain balance throughout the entire pay scale. Big districts would benefit too because a lot of really good teachers get “stuck” in smaller districts because they would lose years of experience going elsewhere. So, when you hire the person with 15 years experience you are only paying them for 15 more years or so, rather than 27. Then you can hire someone with 0 years experience to replace them, and the new crop of teachers that were hired at the beginning of this ultra-confusing paragraph have 12-15 years experience and the process is spaced out better.
I’m not saying every district has this problem right now, but with so many “experienced” teachers getting ready to retire (or so that’s the rumor) I think a thought process such as this might work. I realize there are many more details that could have been included in this, and would have to in order to put it into operation. Who knows, they may already operate like this, but I thought I would add my 2 cents just incase anyone is looking for a GM (and it would only cost them the level of 3 years experience).
Until next time,
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Phasing LeBron
I’m a witness. Yes, I mean that as a reference to my allegiance to the Cleveland Cavaliers. But also, I mean that because I think I have it solved. Ok, maybe not solved, but during this weekend’s happenings I “witnessed” the only thing that seems to phase the great LBJ.
At this point he is the most indestructible force in any major sport. He is a 6’9”, 275 pound freight train that can… and can… (I could use the next 250 words to attempt to write what he can do at that size, but only your imagination can approach doing it justice).
History will remember LeBron’s 2009 playoffs with his 24 ft three-pointer with 1.0 second on the clock to win game 2 of the Eastern Conference Finals. I thought it was a fabulous shot, one that should go down in history as a great clutch shot. Was it the best of all time? Not quite. It was the greatest player in the game, coming up big in the biggest of moments. I, at least for the time being, will remember the happenings of this past weekend through two additional moments that I have appropriately titled, “Phasing LeBron.”
Notice the title wasn’t “stopping LeBron.” I don’t think anyone, or anything at this point could stop LeBron. As you watch him play you see him smacked in the head, clothes lined, kicked, and the rest, and he continues to plow through people “un-phased.” The greatest example of him being “un-phased” was after he hit the winner in game 2. If you watch the replay, which has been played an estimated 13000 times since, you will notice that as he turns to run down court, Sasha Pavlovic (6-7 235 lbs) wraps his arms around him and basically hangs on for dear life. LeBron proceeds to carry Pavlovic a couple feet and then does a jumping chest bump with Anderson Varejao. WHAT?!?!? Carrying an extra 235 lbs and does a jumping chest bump with a guy that is 7 feet tall. Tell me if he did that at the NFL combine GM’s wouldn’t exempt him from the other stations and just move on to everyone else because they know he’ll be the number one pick. People are crazy to think he wouldn’t be a stud in the NFL.
But anyway, fast forward to Game 3 where I noticed the film that every NFL team would be watching to at least “phase” the King. It wasn’t the NBA’s defensive player of the year, Dwight Howard, nor was it any magic player that was guarding him, it was the basketball itself. As LeBron threw down a dunk in the second quarter and turned to run up court, the ball bounced up and hit him in the side of the face. His reaction is the same as Kramer’s in the Seinfeld episode “The Magic Lougie” when Keith Hernandez spits at he and Newman. His head snapped back, knees nearly buckled, and for the first time in a long time, LeBron looked off-balance. Really? This is the same guy that time and time again blasts “un-phased” through all of the hacks, clothes lines, kicks...
To me, that bounce of the basketball represented the element of surprise. LeBron has arguably the greatest court vision of any player to date. His great vision allows him to be not only a great passer, but to be a great scorer because he can analyze the defense and already knows when the aforementioned contact is going to come, thus eliminating any surprise factor effecting his shot. The Magic have become that element of surprise this series for the Cavaliers. For over a month we have heard nothing but LeBron vs Kobe in the finals, causing the other teams in the playoffs to sort of fade out of focus. I’m certain that as much as the Cavs have tried to avoid it, the image of them vs the Lakers in the finals has been right in front of them. Let’s hope that the bounce of the basketball that knocked LeBron a bit off balance, serves as a wake up call to he and his teammates, so that we can remember his shot, rather than the Cavs getting surprised by the Magic.
Until next time,
Saturday, May 16, 2009
You've Got Meal
I know. It sounds uneventful, dumb, stupid, less than entertaining, dull, immature, and just plain waste-of-time-ish, to everyone who is too good to appreciate a good picture of a meal. However, I am here to tell you that picture mealing has become something I look forward to each week and I encourage everyone to participate in one of my favorite hobbies.
Incase you haven’t had the good fortune of being included on one of my picture meal lists, I am introducing this to my entire blogosphere, (ha, both of you).
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Disobeying Doctor's Orders
So Coach and I made our springtime visit to the vet this morning. The heartworm check, urinalysis, and medication pick up, you know, the routine stuff. The stuff that is about as routine as an oil change. But, like we all know, an oil change is rarely routine.
An oil change and a vet visit have a lot in common, and the most unfortunate thing about both of these is that I know little to nothing about cars, and my expertise on dogs goes about as far as seeing her tail wag and knowing she’s happy (absolute brilliance). The scary thing about both of these conditions is that I think the people at the shop, and the people at the vet office know exactly that. They could tell me anything, and I suppose I have to take them at their word (and then spend money).
Here is Today’s story. Coach developed a bit of a limp this week. She must have hurt her back right leg while playing with her buddy Rocky down the street on Tuesday evening or just laying on it wrong. Either way, the limp has been off and on but has not been accompanied by any whimpering or any other sign of pain. Of course it is bothering her, or she would walk on it all the time. However, it isn’t bothering her nearly enough to cause her to not want to go on a walk, not want to jump on the bed, or not want to hang out the window while resting on just her back legs on the way to the vet, so she’s fine right? (this is a scheduled appointment, it is not because of her limp). So we enter the vet and she has blood drawn for the heartworm, they clip her nails, weigh her, (again the routine) and then because Coach has decided that this was a perfect opportunity for people to feel sorry for her and give her an extra treat, she decides this will be her time of the day to limp (side note: she doesn’t limp that much at all, she did this same thing 4 months ago, and got over it in about 12 hours, and has been fine since). So the vet wants to check it out. So she begins to feel her legs. She is doing the exact same thing I did with Coach when I was trying to see if there was any pain at the touch. My diagnosis was that there was no pain at the touch, and Coach will eventually get over it. Her diagnosis was that there was definitely something wrong, and Coach is obviously very tense, so they’ll need to get X-rays. CAPTAIN OBVIOUS. What gave it away? The blatantly obvious limp? You think she is doing that for dramatic affect? First of all, she is tense because you picked her up and placed her on a steel table that she is slipping all over the place on, and has been tense on since you put her up there 5 minutes ago and started pricking her with needles to draw blood and raised it up with a motor to make her feel even more uncomfortable and... (you get the point). If there is a dog that comes in there and is not tense on there then I think THAT is when you start to diagnose problems. Dogs hate that damn table. Second, you still have her on the damn table!!!
Ok, here is the hard part. With a car, it’s very easy to say “alright, thanks, I’ll keep an eye on the specs for the rotary girder.” With a dog, the guilt I have by not spending the $400 for an X-ray just sits in me. It’s horrible. Coach cannot sit there and tell me how bad it really is, I just have to guess. I have to be (in my mind) this horrible person that isn’t treating their dog right because he won’t go find the real problem. If I knew for sure that this is something that HAD to be done, I’d pay the $400 in a heartbeat. But, because my expertise in dogs tells me that she is as happy as ever, still wants to go on walks all the time, still jumps around to meet me when I come home from work, sprints out the front door to greet Dan when she comes home, hops on and off the bed willingly, plays with the neighborhood dogs, chases her tennis ball until complete exhaustion sets in, and doesn’t limp 95% of the time, I’m going to delay the procedure and go against doctors orders.
The unfortunate part is that the $400 is just to identify the problem, chances are they tell me to keep an eye on it, and give me a $2500 solution if it gets any worse. So, I’ve decided to skip the $400, and go to step 2, keep an eye on it. If she ever turns down a walk, or decides not to use her leg for an extended period of time, then I’ll take her in drop the big bucks.
Besides I think Coach would rather the $400 go to more rawhides and tennis balls anyway.
Until next time,
Friday, May 1, 2009
The Usual
I have always been someone who thoroughly enjoys “people watching.” People interacting with one another, to me, are one of the most phenomenal things to sit back and watch. I love thinking about social experiments, social networking, and social class and how each of these things actually come to be.
I also like to think about “social status.” The fascinating thing about social status is that the only way one really obtains a social status is by being judged by someone else. Judging people is a whole different blog, but for anyone to say they don’t judge others on a regular basis, whether good or bad, is kidding themselves. (I’m not talking negative-stereotype style judgment, I’m just talking human-nature-first-impression style judgment. whatever, I’ll write about it later.)
There are thousands of “social statuses” I could talk about, but I’m convinced one of the most prestigious of statuses has to be that of being a “regular” at a local breakfast joint. While for some people it could be a depressing, eating disorder-inducing status, I view it as a rather comforting feeling of accomplishment.
There is only one way to accurately judge this, and to me you are a regular when you can walk in and order “the usual.” I am happy to announce to everyone that I have finally achieved this celebrated status. I cannot remember the exact date, but it was early one Friday morning of this school year. I got up early, as I do every Friday, and made my way to Jack’s Diner on route 23 in Delaware to meet Brent for breakfast. We walked in and sat down at “our” booth, and when Danielle (“our” waitress) greeted us, she said, “you guys want the usual?”
WOW!!!! What a feeling! We had done it! We had reached the peak of social status. We were able to order “the usual.” It was kind of like that feeling that Ace Ventura probably got when he couldn’t connect Einhorn and Finkle, and then finally his little dog laid down on the picture of Ray Finkle’s head and he saw the face with long hair (Ok, maybe bad analogy, but to me it makes perfect sense) and then was overcome with excitement. I find myself wanting the Diner even more now, my excitement is more each week because I know when I walk in, I don’t have to say anything. My coffee, and water come as I sit, and all it takes is a nod of the head for “the usual.”
Our weekly trip to the Diner gives me something to constantly look forward to. It is a symbol of a Friday, sort of a weekend appetizer. I’ve heard the saying that the only certain things in life are death and taxes. True I guess, but another certainty is where I’ll be for breakfast next Friday morning, the usual.
Until Next Time,
Monday, April 27, 2009
The Year of Action
It was two years ago to the day that I sat in my apartment in Delaware, Ohio with a ring in my pocket and a view of the future that didn’t go much further than the very moment I would remove that ring from its box. Up until this point I was still riding the same wave that I had ridden all my life, the nice, smooth, easy-breaking wave that involved a fairly predictable ride with a very slight chance of a wipe out. I rarely veered off course for two reasons. 1) I was having a blast. There was no reason for change. I am very fortunate to have caught the wave I did, and wouldn’t go back and change anything even if I could. 2) I admittedly had always been all-talk. Whether it was pulling the trigger on some impromptu business idea, getting a patent on some crazy idea the G.M.G.I. (to be explained later) came up with, or committing myself to something that changed my life forever. I saw each come and go, forming into little more than an idea to debate over a beer or two.
Fast forward 24 hours. I was about to become engaged (forgive the pun) in the ride of a lifetime. Not only did I propose to my high school sweetheart, but, I started a string of events that have since brought my future into focus beyond 24 hours. I’m calling it “the year of action.” About a year after our engagement, Danielle and I bought a house. Then we adopted my best friend, Coach, our 1.5 year old lab/ boxer/ pit mix. Then we got married, and went on a honeymoon, and bought the all-important big screen TV. Then Brent Wise and I acted upon a 2 year old idea and started a videography business, 224 Productions. And now, I’m starting a blog!
So why is a blog next? I’m not completely sure. But, a few months ago I declared that I was going to write a blog about all of the interesting things that happen to me. Whether or not people read it is the least of my concerns, but for me it’s another idea that, in its own way, provides a sense of accomplishment.
I hope this becomes a good place to share laughs, tell stories, and to stay in touch with family and friends. On behalf of myself, WELCOME!!!
Until next time,
Scotty Mo