Life Beyond Rolling Out the Balls

Pregnancy Observations Part 1

2011-02-13T06:48:00.010-05:00

According to the pregnancy app that I have on my ipod, this is day number 221. To this point I haven’t really made the pregnancy public on facebook or by blogging, so here it is, we're going to have a little boy!

I kind of find it annoying when others make everything public every step of the way. It is certainly their choice, and I can always not read it, but I feel like it’s an intimate thing that should be shared, for the most part, with your spouse and family.

Anyway, over the past 221 days I have made a few observations/ realizations that I’d like to share. Any parent out there will likely relate, and any future father should take note…

1. Pregnancy is a shared experience, kind of… There isn’t a more helpless feeling than being a “father-to-be.” Morning sickness, diet adjustments, hormonal changes out the wazoo, kicks to the ribs, I could go on and on and on but I’d just be listing more things that I have no control over. There are many awesome experiences, but I’ve spent far more time feeling awful for Dan.

2. The name game is no fun… We’ve finally selected a name, but we aren’t telling. Ha, no we want to tell our family in person and then my little fella’s name will be revealed to those that inquire. I’m not sure how people keep it a secret. A lady that I work with just had a child and wouldn’t share the name in fear of people not liking it. I’ve got a ton to say about that situation because I think it is silly to do that (I'm sure there is good reason, and to each their own, but whatever, I still think it is goofy), but my urgency to decide a name came from getting tired of people asking what the name would be. Whether I tell people now, or when he’s born, it’s going to be the same name, and I’m not worried about others liking it. My advice: Don’t worry about outsider’s opinions. If you are worried about other people liking or not liking the name, you are worried about the wrong thing. And if someone close to you is going to make negative comments about it to you, distance yourself because they are the worst. More advice: If you need it, have your help narrow down, not choose. We enlisted our parent’s help. We had it down to 4 names that we liked, all for different reasons. Rather than having our parents choose between a final two (and risk having to choose sides on the advice we got) we had our parents assist in narrowing the choices. It just so happens we got lucky and both sides gave us more information than we requested, choosing a favorite name and not just the requested top 2. Both sides chose the same favorite... game, set, match.

3. People act as though having a child is the end of the world… Prepare for people to paint the picture that being a parent is the worst thing that will ever happen. I have been shocked at the amount of people that say “congrats, (insert negatively toned comment here).” For example, many people at school think it is earth shattering news to continually remind me to “sleep now, you’ll need it!” Really? Crap, I didn’t think of that before we got pregnant, this was a terrible decision. I’m almost insulted that they would think that I hadn’t thought this thing through enough to realize that I’ll be losing some sleep to care for a baby. It must be a horrible thing to live your life with the negative thoughts always on stand by.

4. You learn a lot about people in 221 days… Continuing the thought of other people, you learn about other people through their responses to your pregnancy. There are far too many of the people that I described in the above paragraph, but there are plenty of people that you learn to appreciate and value their friendship even more. I receive weekly texts from a couple friends asking about Dan. I, of course, am often quick to respond with something like, “How’s Dan? What about me?” but those are the friends that can appreciate my pathetic, egotistical way of saying she’s doing great. My favorite conversation thus far has come with a friend who is already a father, and we got to laughing about the people that I described in #3, he then said “Scott, cherish those sleepless nights, look forward to them, there is no greater thing in the world than spending precious moments with your child.” A year ago, I too would have scoffed at the thought of losing that sleep, but ever since I heard that little heartbeat in September, I’ve been looking forward to it. Surround yourself with people that care, they enhance the experience in so many ways.

5. Payback is impossible… I never thought I’d be able to love my mother more than I always have. After watching first hand what a pregnant mother does for her child, I’ve realized that payback is impossible. I’m also guessing that I can love my mother more than I do right now, but I’ll only realize that love after the birth/ feedings/ diapers…. Holy cow, I love you mom!! I don’t mean to make it sound as if this is an awful experience, I think even Dan would agree that people make it out to be more than it is, but good grief, everyone should give their mom a big ol' hug today and say “thanks for the sacrifice.”

You won’t need to explain, she’ll know.

Until next time,

Rules

2010-09-10T06:39:00.003-04:00

A friend posted this on facebook. It was listed as a speech Bill Gates gave, but someone disputed it and said it was someone else. Regardless, I found a few of these very interesting and very true. Look at it however you want, but here it is, 11 life rules...

Rule 1: Life is not fair - get used to it!

Rule 2: The world doesn't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

Rule 3: You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.

Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.

Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: they called it opportunity.

Rule 6: If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.

Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.

Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.

Until next time,

The Worst IV

2010-08-25T16:58:00.002-04:00

1. Tying someone else's shoe

2. People

3. Vet bills

4. The WNBA

5. Not knowing

Until next time,

The Worst III

2010-08-11T05:55:00.002-04:00

** in no particular order, I started a series of "The Worst" posts. The things listed are, for one reason or another, in fact, the worst. I could name many, but I'll choose to dispense them 5 at a time.**

1. Annoying laughs

2. Flakiness

3. Co-Pays

4. Social awkwardness

5. Poor people playing the lottery

Until next time,

The Worst II

2010-08-08T05:39:00.002-04:00

1. Inefficiency

2. Poor service

3. Owing

4. Slow drivers

5. Fees

Until next time,

The Worst.. 5 at a time

2010-08-03T21:05:00.002-04:00

_______ is/ are the worst.

1. Smoking

2. Parents

3. Bad hygiene

4. Mulch

5. Birthdays

** in no particular order, I'm starting a series of "The Worst" posts. The things listed are, for one reason or another, in fact, the worst. I could name many, but I'll choose to dispense them 5 at a time.**

Until next time,

Bringin' the Buffet

2010-07-23T12:22:00.001-04:00

I wrote The Blog Buffet earlier this summer, and got an overwhelming response. Overwhelming in two ways… 1. Many of my friends and/ or family told me that they enjoyed reading it. I’ve heard that before about some of my posts (and have heard only crickets on most), but this time it was cool because of the people who said something to me, maybe 2 of them talked about the same topic. 2. It was much more fun to write. Sit down, think of something, type about it, and move on. The goal wasn’t to concoct a good storyline like many of the others, it was just to ramble on in a therapeutic kind of way. I got more joy out of it, and apparently, so did the other people that have too much spare time like myself that actually read the whole thing.

1. The Lebracle- I still need more information. I do not look down upon anyone that has formed a strong opinion on Lebron for “the decision.” I see both sides, and could argue with or against both. When I am asked what I think, I honestly am nearly speechless. I want to hate him for leaving the Cavs and the city, but I also understand some of the reasons. I want to dog on him for joining forces with one of the other alpha dogs in the league, but also think it is somewhat cool that these guys did this. I want to disown Dan Gilbert for “the letter,” but strangely can see how it was the greatest move he could make at the time, but also suicidal for the Cavs. My bottom line is that I’m left feeling as though something else will come out about the whole situation. I am not convinced that Lebron would truly leave JUST to play with his buddies and chase a championship. I believe that it was always in the back of his mind, behind the idea of staying in Cleveland. Then, when whatever tipping point happened, it gave him a reason to justify leaving. The Delonte and Gloria thing is out there, there’s too simple of a fix there- trade Delonte. I can’t convince myself that Lebron wouldn’t talk to Dan Gilbert during June, or wouldn’t even give Tom Izzo 30 seconds of his time, it’s just all too fishy for me. I could go on and on, but for now, I’m so baffled that I can’t even take a side.

2. Reading- I’ve always hated to read books. I’ll read articles online, facebook, twitter, the paper, and emails all day, but books haven’t been in my vocabulary. This summer I finished “The Book of Basketball” on June 3 (700 pages, I started it Nov. 30 2009). It was a collection of 2 pages stories/ articles, so I could take my time, and stop and start whenever. Perfect. I’ve since finished another book “Outliers” by Malcolm Gladwell. Many of my friends suggested the book to me, and I read his columns online, so I tried it out. It was fascinating, and I’d recommend it to anyone. So fascinating, in fact, that I started another of his books “The Tipping Point” and am really enjoying it. You didn’t think I used “tipping point” in the first paragraph off the top of my head did you?

3. Early riser- Over the past two years, maybe a bit less, I have discovered the joy in getting up early. I can’t say I’ve always been a morning person, but now I am a diehard fan. As Brett Rozanczyk and I have discussed on many occasions, there is a certain undefined unexplainable value to being up before other people. Sleeping in, is now 8:30 at the latest… I never would’ve thought I’d ever say that.

4. Soccer- The World Cup was awesome! I was glued to the T.V. for as many games as I could be. As I said in an email to a few friends this morning, I am admittedly the first person to start conversations that make fun of soccer. I compared it to a friend that you go out with and make fun of the whole time, only because it is so easy to make fun of that friend, and everyone laughs and has a great time. And that friend is a great sport about it, continues to be who he is, joins in on the making fun, and in the end you guys are still great friends. That’s how I am with soccer. I love to poke fun at the sport and its diehards. It has some flaws, and if you can appreciate the flaws, you realize that it really is an enjoyable game deep down.

5. Soccer cont’d- I don’t think I’ll never really become a diehard. Soccer could never surpass football or basketball. One of the main things, I think, that keeps me and others, from becoming more interested, is the topic of wanting to see the best. Many sports radio hosts talk about how Americans want the best, they appreciate greatness for what it is. I couldn’t agree more. I don’t do the MLS because I know going into it that it isn’t the best. I would enjoy knowing more about the English Premier League, but it doesn’t hit home enough to allow me to enjoy. In The Sports Guys’ column today he wrote that he would love to see one of the premier league teams invest in the top American players and kind of become “America’s Team” of the premier league. It would still have international players on it, but at least for me, if a bunch of the best American players were on one team, I would be able to build more of an interest. I hope this happens.

6. The damn oil spill- So we got it capped after a gozillion days, and it’s only a temporary fix? And now there’s another leak? And….. What the hell is going on? Really?

7. Never seen this before- Every year something happens and we immediately say it’s the worst ever, or best ever, and we’ve never seen this before. For example, I continue to feel as though this is the hottest summer I can remember. I go around saying “this is the worst we’ve ever had.” Is it? The “never before” or “can remember” type comments extend to many things, and I’m entertained to think about how generational this stuff is. Older folks will always say stuff was better or worse in their day. Middle aged folks will do the same about a few years after that, and kids today will talk up these next few years as the worst or best something when they are 100. That’s it, just a thought.

8. Wireless cable- I realize wireless and cable are complete opposite terms, but why can I take my laptop out on my patio and have endless communication with anything I want in the world, but can’t plop my big screen out by my firepit and watch Sportscenter in HD. And you think we’ve been to the moon? HA!

9. Lists- I live by lists. I’m always making a list of things to do, whether it’s got to be done today, tomorrow, or just anytime. Unfortunately, I’ve been off of school since June 10, and many of the things on the list on June 10, are still on the list. It’s amazing how not having a schedule and more free time, does not directly lead to getting more accomplished.

10. Life changes- I love thinking about where I’m at today, and where I may have thought I would be a this time 10 years ago. Make sense? As I sat in high school planning my future, or laid in bed at night thinking who I’d keep contact with, where I’d live, or what I’d think about who, what, or where, I enjoy the thought of how wrong I was, and even more, how right I thought I’d be. (I typed that, and had to re-read it for clarification. Twice… whatever) Anyway, I cannot look back and think of much I would change, and that makes me happy.

Until next time,

Letter to Lebron

2010-07-07T17:23:00.003-04:00

Dear Lebron,

First of all, a sincere thanks! You’ve known all along what your options will be, and when the clock struck midnight on July 1^st, you could have come out and told me where you will play next year. But, that wouldn’t have been the best move for my Scott Brand. And you could have announced right away where you were going as you sat in your house in Akron. But, that wouldn’t have been the best move for Gahanna, the city I grew up in, and the city I love. And you could have teamed up right away with other superstars and built a dynasty. But, that wouldn’t have been good for my ability to win championships or my legacy. Actually, what am I talking about, that’s just dumb, sorry.

Anyway, what you did was you waited. You drew it out almost as long as you could. You created the type of media hype that has never been seen in sports before, and it was GREAT! I know you are making this decision for me (thanks again by the way) and the best thing for me was to have 24/7 media coverage, and hype, and rumors, and all this sports-fan-crack that you have been giving out like it was going out of style. Following ESPN.com and facebook and twitter and sports radio and TV has given me something to do since I have these 3 months away from school. I dove into the speculation game as deep as anyone and it was a roller coaster thrill ride! And now, an hour-long special tomorrow night? SWEET!

Again, I just want to say thanks one more time. All these analysts, and fans, and peers, and enemies of you, want you to make your decision for something they think is best for them (or you?), but you chose to be unselfish and feed ME!!!

Now, what’s best for you personally? (oh, that’s the first time you’ve been asked that?)

Whoa, I’m sorry. See I thought since everyone else was telling me what’s best for your brand, or your city, or your legacy, those were what you were basing this on.

Well, uh, good luck. Since you’ve done so much for me, I hope you do make this decision for you, not for anyone or anything else. I'll certainly be happiest if you choose the Cavs. And if you go, I'll be bummed at first, but you know what, if you do end up playing somewhere else, I hope you choose it for you, not for your legacy, or your brand, or a city, or anyone else, but for whatever is truly best for you.

Good Luck,

Scott

Until next time,

Long Distance Relationship

2010-07-04T11:11:00.002-04:00

What’s the old saying, “distance makes the heart grow fonder?” I typically laugh at things like this and never understand why people think that a certain relationship is better off when people are apart. I don’t even like that some of my very good friends live outside of town. It certainly doesn’t ruin the relationship we have, but it would without a doubt be better if I didn’t have to, heaven forbid, drive 10+ miles to hang out. I guess I’m just a sucker for the built-in-excuse (if you aren’t nodding your head thinking, “me too,” more power to you.)

In my friend Brent’s post about his family trip to Rocky Fork Lake each July 4^th, he discusses how his family comes together very infrequently, yet it seems as though the never miss a beat with anything. I can say the same thing about my family trip to The Outer Banks of North Carolina. Twelve people that see each other 3-4 times a year max, come together for a week of sitting on the beach, having some beverages, playing family games, and enjoying the simple life for 7 straight days.

I have enjoyed this specific long-distance relationship now for well over 20 years. Every year the Zulauf’s join us, all the way from Virginia, for Christmas, and we travel down there to meet up with them for summer vacation. The times we are together are filled with laughter and constant discussion of anything and everything. It really is as if we never miss a beat. Each time we part ways, I always wish they never moved to Virginia in the mid-1980’s. Andy and Nick specifically would be two of my very best friends. We share the same interests and the same sense of humor, and can fill time with meaningless discussion like almost nobody else I know. I cannot think of many people that I could spend an entire week with and not get tired of their presence.

Would it be the same if we lived closer and were able to spend more time together? Maybe it is the distance that provides us this luxury. I don’t know. It sure would be nice to find out. But, for now, I’ll settle for 14 of my favorite days of the year, and if it is the distance that makes those 14 days that much better, I’ll take it.

Until next time,

Captured Memories

2010-06-11T13:55:00.003-04:00

While sifting through old VHS tapes to make an anniversary video for my parents, I stumbled upon this priceless video...

Until next time,

Blog Buffet

2010-06-06T09:08:00.005-04:00

My nearly 2-month-long sabbatical is over. For now. I’ve had a lot going on over the past 50 some odd days, and just couldn’t find the time, and/ or motivation needed to sit down and write. As I sit down to think about what to write about, my mind is flooded with options, so why not talk about them all… the blog buffet.

1. I spent the last two months, along with Dan and my sister, planning a surprise 30^th anniversary party for my parents. We contacted just about everybody that my parents knew and invited them over to my house for an ‘open house’ style gathering. It could not have ended up a bigger success. Over 100 people came, the weather was great, the keg was gone 3 hours into the party, there is a ton of leftover chex mix, and most importantly, people have been stroking my ego with “that was one of the best parties I’ve ever been to” comments since. Ego aside, it really was great. To have that many people go out of their way on Memorial Day weekend to honor Mom and Dad says a lot about the relationships they have formed. It was a very cool experience. Below is a picture from the party… Mom and Dad in the middle, most of their wedding party, and my cousin Andy, the ring bearer.

2. When we bought our house 2 years ago, the inside of the house needed little to no work. The outside didn’t necessarily need the work, but it certainly was an area where we thought a few changes or additions would really upgrade our purchase. Anyway, the aforementioned party forced us to begin (and finish) our project. Danielle and her mom finished a 275 sq ft, flagstone patio on their spring break, we mulched, transplanted some grass, and made some aesthetic upgrades to the mulched area and it turned out even better than we thought. I’ll post some different pictures of the patio later, but in the picture above, you can see the beautiful flagstone, and then right behind mom and dad is a built in firepit (my favorite).

3. I’ve also added to my arsenal of reasons why we haven’t been to the moon. You’re telling me we went to the moon 41 years ago, and we can’t stop a pipe from leaking millions of gallons of oil into the ocean, killing uncountable amounts of wildlife etc etc etc… I don’t want to hear that it is a mile below the surface of whatever it is, I certainly don’t have the answer, but nearly 50 days after the pipe burst, we don’t have a solution… truly a disaster.

4. Free agent summit 2010. Who isn’t talking about this right now? It is what I love and hate about professional sports. I love the strategy/ planning involved in running a franchise. It is way more difficult than any of us even know, and really the only way I know it is more difficult is because if it weren’t then my run of 5 consecutive trips to the Super Bowl (4 championships) in Madden 09 would land me a front office position somewhere. What do you mean my acquisition of Anquan Boldin on the Bengals that only cost me expensive player X and a 4^th round pick isn’t realistic?? Anyway, I literally have no idea about Lebron. Which is funny because I find myself telling other people “no way that happens, you’re dumb” and then I think about it, and I don’t even have an educated guess, all I have is a guess. My guess: he stays, but only on a 3 year contract, and most of the other guys do the same. My only reasoning: whenever there is huge buildup like this, most of the time the end result is about as exciting as a 9-year-old-girls soccer game.

5. Where did that come from? More on filming/ watching old tapes in a future post, but while sifting through hours and hours and hours of our old VHS and Hi8 tapes to make Mom and Dad an anniversary video tribute, I came across one of Betsy’s soccer games circa 1997ish. I was filming at the time, probably just thrilled to be running the camera, and I was giving commentary. Two things: 1. Color commentary is tough. Granted I was in 7^th grade, my voice was annoying, and I was commenting on girls soccer, but there wasn’t even a 20 second stretch that I said anything approaching poor commentary, it was all VERY poor. 2. Nothing excites me less than thinking of sitting amongst other parents at your kids games. Especially ones that don’t know a damn thing about the sport and basically insist on yelling the entire time. Terrible.

6. Speaking of soccer. Call me a bandwagon fan, that’s fine, but I love the World Cup. I don’t watch, follow, support, or even enjoy soccer for the 3 years and 10 months in between, but I have always enjoyed the World Cup. I’ve been doing my homework this time around too. I’ve read some articles, listened to some podcasts, and followed the news and I feel prepared to get fully into this starting next week.

7. Who remembers field day (some called it “fun day”) from your elementary years? I had one at both of my schools this past month and they couldn’t have gone better. They are a lot more fun to participate in than plan/ set-up.

8. I voted for the first time in my life on May 4. My whole experience deserves its own post, but lets just say I was thoroughly unimpressed with the voting process. I was even more unimpressed with the results that the Gahanna Schools levy failed. Unfortunately, looking back, I’m not surprised. I’ve looked at it from different viewpoints- community member, graduate, businessman, spouse of a teacher and so on. If I was unable to get information from my wife, and if I didn’t read the Gahanna News (which unfortunately I don’t think many people do) I too probably would have voted ‘no.’ In these economic times, we are going to need to put a little more effort, or at least smarter effort, into asking for more money and getting votes. I’ll happily talk about this for hours on end in person, too much to write.

9. Another first, I attended a baby shower. I’m very excited for Brent and Lindsey to welcome their new daughter, McKinley (spelling Brent?) into the world. I have a couple friends with a child, but this will be the first close friend to take that step in his or her life. Hopefully the child will bring a little more excitement than the baby shower. Note to self: the guys should go golfing while the gals celebrate with wine, cake, and gifts.

10. Sleep update. Yet another menu item that deserves its own post, but lets just say I have a newfound respect for medicine. I feel awake and alert 98% of the time now, and my quality of life has gone through the roof.

I’m certain I have more, but for now, enjoy your plate, don’t forget your silverware , and come back for seconds whenever you’d like.

Until next time,

The Sleep Doctor

2010-04-08T21:48:00.005-04:00

For as long as I can remember I’ve had the secret talent of being a great napper. In high school, I used to come home from school during my early release period, catch a quick nap, and then return to school completely refreshed for practice. In college, I think I napped nearly every day. Those college naps even prompted a roommate of mine to post “Heidelberg College Nap Rankings” as his AOL status, and I was, of course, ranked the #1 napper, just ahead of him. Even my days teaching at Delaware have included what I called “curriculum naps” during my prep period.

The funny thing about most, if not all, of those naps is that whenever I have wanted to nap, I have been able to, with very little struggle to sleep. People have told me how “lucky” I am to be able to nap, and have mentioned how they “would pay to be able to do that.” I will admit, the naps are great, but I must make a confession, I have been cheating this whole time. Let me explain…

A few months ago I made the decision that I was fed up with being tired all of the time. I go to bed about 9:00-9:30 every night, and get up between 5:30 and 6:00, there was no reason I should be tired all day. So, I went to visit the doctor. I told him my situation of being excessively tired despite my good nighttime sleep. He asked me a few questions, took some blood, and then recommended me for a “sleep study.” The next day he called me and told me my blood was fine so he wanted me to go through with the sleep study, and when the results were back, he would do further tests if needed.

I visited the sleep doctor about a week later, and I told him my story. He asked questions about my daily routine, my napping habits, my eating habits, and much more and ended at the conclusion that he thought I had Narcolepsy. He then said that they wanted to do an overnight sleep test on me to be sure, and that they would gather some more information before a final diagnosis.

My initial thoughts: Yeah so, listen buddy, I see your degree in sleep medicine there on the wall, and I see your fancy white doctor’s coat and all, but I’m not sure if you heard me correctly or not but I said that I was tired all of the time, NOT falling asleep mid-sentence and stuff like that. So, it’s a good thing for you that you are recommending this further study because you could not be further off with this diagnosis. Just wait until these results are back, what a joke. What a waste of time.

Fast forward to a few weeks later when I have my sleep test. I arrived about 9:30 at night. The nurse took me to my room, hooked me up to a bunch of sensors (picture message I sent to my wife and a few others from the clinic), gave me the remote to the TV, and then said “Ok, go ahead and go to sleep, we’ll be getting you up about 5:30.” Sure enough, she flipped the lights on at 5:30 and then told me she would bring me breakfast soon, and left me with only one direction “do not fall asleep.” It was MUCH more difficult than it sounds. I sat in a lazy boy, watched TV, messed around on the computer, ate breakfast, and then she came back in at 7:30 and uttered one of the top 5 sentences ever spoken to me...

“Ok Mr. Morrison do you think you could take a nap right now?”

I cannot remember if I even replied. I felt like a 5 year old kid that was just asked if they wanted to go to Disney. I climbed back into the bed and she hooked the sensors back up to the machine, turned out the lights and left the room. The lights flipped back on in 20 minutes, and she gave me the direction again “do not go back to sleep, I’ll be back in about an hour and a half for your next nap.” I was upset with the length of the nap, but realized it was a study, and went back to the lazy boy. This pattern continued for 5 total naps, and then they released me to go home. I’m not sure I could dream up a better day… Bob Evans breakfast and lunch, lazy boy, computer, TV, and 5 naps.

Fast forward again to March 30 for my results appointment with the doctor. (Before I get to the results, let me just say that I was terrified that I was going to go into this appointment and the doctor was going to just say, “well, Mr. Morrison, we have reviewed your results, and there isn’t anything wrong with you. We aren’t sure what is making you tired, but you’re just fine, and what you’re feeling is just the normal life of a working man.”) I was informed by the nurse that I was meeting with the “results specialist,” not the doctor I had last time. Good thing- he didn’t know what he was talking about! I was on the edge of my seat awaiting the results, like one of the houseguests on Big Brother about to be evicted, when Julie Chen comes on the screen to announce who stays and who goes. The doctor walked in, sat down, and opened the manila folder carrying my results.

Doctor: Scott, in your overnight sleep test we learned that the 8 hours of sleep you get is good quality sleep. Your levels are all normal, and there are really no red flags to report. You get plenty of oxygen, your sleep sequence is….

(I think I tuned her out for about the next 15 seconds because I got to thinking that for the rest of my life I’m going to have to go to bed at 9, get 8 quality hours of sleep, feel excessively tired all day long, and have to fight the urge to sleep constantly. I was disgusted.)

Doctor: But, your daytime sleep results are ALARMING!

(In my mind I did fist pump with more passion than any fist pump you’ve ever seen. It was euphoric.)

She continued: Scott we had you take 5 naps, each nap between 20 and 30 minutes. You fell asleep in each nap- that is definitely NOT NORMAL. (Please continue, this “alarming” and “not normal” stuff is great) For a normal person taking just one nap, it would take them, on average, upwards of 10 minutes to fall asleep. You fell asleep in an average of 3 minutes throughout the 5 naps; this is ALARMING. You also entered REM sleep, which is deep sleep in which you dream, during your 4^th nap. This is also ALARMING, because it takes a normal person 90 or more minutes to enter deep sleep. So, looking at all of this information, it shows the characteristics of a person with Narcolepsy.

She could have told me that I had (insert whatever you want here) and I would have been ok, I was just so happy that it wasn’t just me imagining being tired for the past 10 years that I was totally fine with the Narcolepsy diagnosis. She then taught me about Narcolepsy…

Doc: Many people think that Narcolepsy is just when people fall asleep while in the action of doing something. That is Narcolepsy, but only a small percentage of narcoleptics are that severe. In the brain, there is a center called the Hypothalamus that is responsible for producing a chemical that promotes “wakefulness.” In people with Narcolepsy, this chemical is not produced correctly, therefore causing excessive sleepiness at all times. Narcoleptics are able to fall asleep very quickly, at almost any time, and are able to enter REM sleep quickly and relatively easy. You show all of these characteristics.

All I could think about was how much of a bozo I thought that first doctor was, and how uneducated I now feel for thinking that. But anyway, the visit ended with her prescribing me a drug that will help the hypothalamus produce the wakefulness chemical. She said that taking this pill should make me feel as good as new from here on out.

Now that I have put all of you non-narcoleptics to sleep with 1400 words of my life, I’ll sign off, and update you on my progress at a later date. Take care.

Until next time,

Pride of the Lions

2010-03-21T09:33:00.000-04:00

Born and raised in Gahanna, my dreams as a little kid didn’t go much further than sporting the blue and gold uniforms of the Gahanna Lincoln Golden Lions. With my parents both teaching and coaching at the high school, I built those dreams while taking in football and basketball games at a very young age. From basketball camps, to being the ball-boy for both varsity teams, the desire to play for those teams only grew the closer I got to high school. Hours upon hours were spent on my driveway shooting the basketball while imagining myself hitting game-winner after game-winner as the imaginary Lions moved along in the tournament.

Flash forward to last night. As I sat in section 15 of the Fairgrounds Coliseum, watching the Gahanna boys defeat the number one team in the country in the regional final game, I found myself on the edge of my seat, pumping my fist, and standing to cheer with every big play. It was a very weird feeling. One could say that I didn’t have a whole lot invested in this team. I didn’t go to school with, or work out with any of the players, I didn’t play for, or coach with any of the coaches, and I have been away from the school since graduation in 2002. However, I felt totally invested in the team, as did the other 3500+ Gahanna fans that turned the Coliseum into a virtual home game for the Lions.

Here I am 8 years removed from high school and I can still feel a sense of pride in the program that I put so many hours of my time into. When you work hard for something that you care so much about, the feeling of investment into that product is very rewarding.

I feel sorry for people who have a bad feeling towards their high school days and/or a certain period of their life. Blaming a coach or teacher or whomever else for not giving you the chance, or for screwing you over, seems like a cop-out for “I didn’t invest myself enough” into what I wanted to be a part of. I hope you are able to find something in your life that you do work hard towards, so you can be proud of whatever it is that you may accomplish.

High school sports certainly aren’t everything. But, having that link to my past is something I am very proud of and the experiences I have gained and can still gain from it, are invaluable. Congratulations to the Gahanna boys team, and Go Lions!

Until next time,

Elementary Experiences II

2010-01-25T18:20:00.002-05:00

One of my favorite things to do at the elementary school is to walk around and look at the work that the kids have completed that is hanging on the wall outside each classroom. As I was making my way around the halls last week, I noticed that the first grade classes learned about the Martin Luther King Jr. holiday by writing their own “I have a dream” statements.

I could tell that the teachers must have prefaced this assignment by steering the kids towards writing about certain things because the majority of the responses had something to do with ending war, eliminating littering, and banishing smoking in America. But, it was the other few projects that caught my eye and actually made me laugh out loud while standing there by myself…

“I have a dream that everyone gets to choose their drink at lunch”

“I wish that everyone would have free yard sales”

HA!

Until next time,

Pants on the Ground

2010-01-14T06:12:00.002-05:00

I'm not an American Idol watcher, but when I woke up this morning, almost everyone's facebook status had something to do with Pants on the Ground. I think it is a little ridiculous that they even let these people in front of the judges, but if you don't laugh at this, you live a miserable life....

Until next time,

Breaks

2009-12-20T16:41:00.004-05:00

It has been nearly a month since the last time I updated my blog. It has also been nearly a month since I feel like I have been able to sit down, take a deep breath, and just relax. The past month has been quite busy with basketball season taking off, and last minute attempts to cram a few things into phys ed class before the break.

Speaking of the break... For every day that I report to work and complain to myself that I have to be there, once these breaks hit, I rediscover the glorious perks of being a teacher. Maybe it's because I'm used to getting the breaks, but I really can't imagine having a job that didn't get 2 weeks for the holidays, a week for spring break, a 5 day weekend at Thanksgiving, a 3 month recess during the summer, and a handful of 3 and 4 day weeks scattered throughout the year.

Yes, it's a tough life. Teach little kids all day, then get rewarded with breaks. Happy Holidays to all!

Until next time,

Mail

2009-11-21T11:38:00.005-05:00

Before adulthood, bills, and home-ownership, there was nothing like the feeling of getting mail. I would always hurry home from school, hoping to be the first one to check the mailbox, only to be disappointed that I received nothing 98% of the time. I never understood why my parents weren't fired up when they got 5 pieces of mail each day, but now I realize mail sucks. When you are a kid mail is either money from Grandma or the magazine you eagerly await. Now, mail is bills, junk, more junk, a magazine I don't have time to read, or more junk. When I look at our countertop that is littered with mail from the past week, I just want to cancel the mail just as Kramer did on Seinfeld...

Time for the college picks...

The theme of the week is 'mailing it in.' I'm picking teams that could just "mail it in" as they say and get a win.

Florida International @ Florida (-45.5)

Yeah, I'm laying 45.5. Ambitious scheduling at its best.

TCU @ Wyoming (-31)

I'd love to see 3 or more undefeated teams at the end of the year, the horned frogs won't have any trouble staying that way this week.

Kansas @ Texas (-27)

It's bad when you are on the front of espn.com for off the field issues on the same week you are playing at Texas against a QB that needs big numbers to win the heisman.

Season: 25-20-0

Until next time,

Tweeting the picks

2009-11-14T12:32:00.003-05:00

Busy day. Just got done with a scrimmage, now headed to a wedding. Due to time constraints, I'll have to tweet the picks. Because it's an abbreviated post, I'm picking the abbreviated team.

ND @ Pittsburgh (-7)

Standford @ USC (-10.5)

Miami @ UNC (+3.5)

Season: 23-19-0

Until next time,

Cuts

2009-11-07T13:30:00.004-05:00

One of the best things about coaching football is that you do not have to make cuts. You can take on any kid that wants to play, no matter his skill level, and give him something to take pride in and belong to. I never knew how underprivileged many kids were until I started teaching/ coaching, and seeing a kid belong to a team is extremely rewarding, especially when you know it truly is the only positive thing going on in his life.

Today was the worst day for a basketball coach, the last tryout. You know that every kid there just wants to be on the team and just wants to belong. But, in basketball there are only so many jerseys and so many spots available on the team, that cuts are inevitable. It's an awful task to sit there and look a kid in the eye and tell them they didn't make the team that they so desperately want to be on.

However, the last tryout also brings the opportunity for one of the most rewarding experiences as a coach as well. It doesn't get much better than the experience of calling a kid into your office that works so hard and has been so unbelievably committed that his work ethic and toughness overshadow his shortcomings in skill and athletic ability, and having the opportunity to tell that kid how proud you are of him and that he has MADE the team is as good as it gets. There aren't a whole lot of more rewarding experiences than that.

Now for the week 10 picks...

I'm picking all favorites this week because according to parents of kids that get cut, thats what coaches do.

Oregon @ Stanford (+7.5)

Quack! Quack! Quack! Quack! Quack! Goooooooooo Ducks!

USC @ Arizona State (+11)

Trojans take out frustration from last weeks stomping.

Wake Forest @ Ga. Tech (-13)

HOT SHOOTER!!! I'm posting the Tech fight song with next weeks picks if they win again for me.

Oklahoma @ Nebraska (+6)

I just had a 3rd grader in one of my classes move to Oklahoma. I didn't think people really even lived there, but here's a welcome to Oklahoma present for that kid.

Season: 23-15-0

Until next time,

Bad Presentaton

2009-10-31T12:25:00.006-04:00

I hate meetings! Especially meetings that consist of bad presenters and/or presentations. I just sat through a 4 hour pupil activity validation meeting in which 6 speakers read a power point to me one after another. If you are going to use power point to speak in front of a group of people, don't insult your audience by reading to them. Put the main points up there, and then at least act like you are an authority on the subject by explaining it to them in your own terms. Nothing says boredom quite like a 4 hour power point being read to you by awful speakers.

Ok, good to get that out. Now for the complete opposite of boredom, it's time for the week 9 picks. After sitting through such a bad presentation this morning, 'bad presentation' is the theme of the week. I'm picking against teams in which the product they put on the field is like watching a 4 hour power point.

Duke @ Virginia (-7)

I like Cavman much more than a Blue Devil.

Mich. St @ Minnesota (+4)

Watching Minnesota play Ohio State wasn't much better than the power point. I love the Spartans here.

Penn St @ Northwestern (+17)

Joe Pa's troops look like they are clicking, and the Wildcats are just bad.

Ga. Tech @ Vandy (-12)

Sticking with my hot shooter... press the bet please. Tech rolls.

Season: 21-13-0

Until next time,

College Picks Week 8

2009-10-24T11:15:00.002-04:00

Yes, the ol' Mo Train did go 4 for 4 last week making it 7 of the last 8 against the spread.

The hot streak has come during two consecutive weeks in which a theme has been used to choose the teams. I'm sticking with the theme just like a hot shooter in craps. I will once again be filming a wedding tonight, and will be on the road for most of the games, so all of the road teams get the nod.

Ga Tech @ Virginia (+4)

My parents went down to this game to visit my family, tailgate, and have a great time. They could have waited until next week to go down and I would have been able to go with them. But, apparently Dad wanted to see Georgia Tech a lot more than he wanted to get to travel down with his son and daughter-in-law to see the game vs Duke next weekend. Yes, I get the message. And for that I hope Georgia Tech puts this one away with a 42-0 1st quarter and all the bums play the rest of the way, and I hope it rains the whole time, and is cold, and the hot dog guy never comes to their section, and...

Without thinking about the above scenario, I would love to see UVA get a big win. They are on a roll, and have given Tech some good games recently. When I think about the game though, all I can picture is the text Nick sent me after the loss to William and Mary, "we just lost to William & Mary." That's all it said, but it spoke much louder than that. Ga Tech by 10.

Oklahoma @ Kansas (+7.5)

For all the future professional athletes that read this blog... If you have a chance to go pro and make guaranteed millions, do it. Don't think twice. Don't get all emotional over leaving your college teammates. Just go. Sooners BIG!

Iowa @ Mich. St (-1.5)

For the second consecutive week Iowa (a top 10 team by the way) goes on the road and gets points. Talk about being able to play the "nobody believes in us" card... Hawkeyes in a close one.

Texas @ Mizzou (-13)

He won the big game, now he needs a gaudy stat game. Colt goes off and the 'horns show no mercy.

Season: 17-13-0

Until next time,

Morale Victories and College Picks 7

2009-10-17T09:33:00.002-04:00

I’m not talking about moral victories; I don’t believe there are such things. I thrive on competition in my daily life, and anyone who says there are moral victories, probably just lost.

What I do enjoy are morale victories. This is a concept I completely made up, but it keeps my long commutes to work interesting, and fills the requirement for competition in everything I do. A morale victory is one that awards no prize other than pride, and is rarely recognized by any individual other than the “winner.”

For example…

Just yesterday I stopped to fill up my gas tank. Boring right? Probably for the average person that stops at the pump., but for me, I’m just entering the arena baby. I step out of the car, swipe my card for 20 cents off per gallon, and start filling. I know it’s going to be about 15-16 gallons, so I rush to the window cleaner thingy and start to wipe down the windshield. I finish, return the thingy, and head back to the pump with my gameface on. I crack my knuckles, loosen my fingers, and prepare for pump stoppage, and survey the pump. The numbers are closing in on my mark quickly... 14 gallons, $31, $32, 15 gallons, $33, I grasp the handle, $33.85, I prepare for the moment. STOP!!!!! $34.00 even, WINNER WINNER CHICKEN DINNER, PERFECT PUMP BABY!!! A mental fist pump caps off a morale victory at its best, and then the better part is that you get to leave the perfect pump on the display for the next person to see, tell me there is a better feeling?

Another example happens almost daily on my ride home from work. Coming south on 71 I like to travel in the left lane. The right lanes are often crowded with old people and semis. When you’re in the left lane you get that guy that’s in the biggest rush of his life and comes speeding up behind you. I typically LOVE this guy because he’s going to get ahead of me and if there are any cops up ahead, they get him instead of me. But, he’s in such a rush that instead of giving me a second to pass the semi that occupies the middle lane, and then get over and let him by, he cuts right across all 3 lanes, and tries to go past everyone. Idiot! I take this as a challenge, and give a little extra gas so that I can get ahead of the semi, and try to get the guy stuck in the right lane beside me and the semi, and behind whomever is in the right lane at the time. A mental fist pump, and an evil sounding laugh gives me a morale victory that lifts my spirits for the rest of the ride, you know the feeling.

Let’s get to the week 7 picks…

Last week I went with the road team theme, and it totally paid off bringing me back to .500 against the spread for the year. I’m going to stick with the theme of today, morale victories, and pick all underdogs. Why is that a morale victory? I’m looking vegas straight in the eye and saying “how dare you give me this many points,” and when I cover I can laugh at vegas “ha ha ha vegas, outsmarted yourself a little huh?” (It makes sense to me and that’s all that counts)…

Texas vs Oklahoma (+3.5)

Iowa @ Wisconsin (-2.5)

South Carolina @ Alabama (-18)

Arkansas @ Florida (-25)

Season 13-13-0

Until next time,

College Picks Week 6

2009-10-10T11:38:00.002-04:00

224 is filming a wedding tonight in Sherrodsville Ohio. Where is that? Not real sure, but because I am going to be on the road for all of the games today, I'm going with an all road team themed card...

Ga. Tech @ FSU (-2.5)

Tech and the points.

Florida @ LSU (+7.5)

Tebow pulls a Willis Reed and gets cleared at game time, Gators comfortably in this one.

Georgia @ Tennessee (pk)

Georgia takes out the frustration of the celebration penalty on Lane and the boys, I'll take the Dawgs.

Mich St. @ Illinois (+3.5)

There is a lot more than a change in QB needed at Illinois, Spartans by a touchdown.

Season: 10-12-0

Until next time,

College Picks Week 5

2009-10-02T05:33:00.002-04:00

No words can describe the disappointment that college picks have brought me this year, so I'll skip the intro...

LSU @ Georgia (-2.5)

Another top 5 team goes down. Dawgs in a close one.

Ga. Tech @ Miss. St. (+4.5)

Tech by a touchdown.

USC @ Cal (-6)

Cal stunk up the joint last week after my reverse jinx of Oregon. But, they were on the road. I'm sticking to my guns, and saying it's tough to cover on the road in the PAC-10. Da Bears to cover.

Penn St @ Illinois (+6)

The lions won't let me down two weeks in a row, and Illinois looked to be a mess. The JoePa's by 2 scores.

Season 8-10-0

Until next time,

College Picks Week 4

2009-09-25T18:18:00.003-04:00

Good thing I have a real job. But, lets take the true gamblers mentality and think that everything can be healed with a perfect week 4....

Minnesota @ Northwestern (+1)

Two bad teams. I like the Gophers to be not as bad.

Cal @ Oregon (+6.5)

I actually don’t like this game all that much. But, because I know my buddy Brent bet Cal, and my picks have been sub-par to this point, I thought I would jinx Oregon for him. I like the ducks at home. Actually, I really think the PAC -10 teams have more of a home advantage than any other conference, guess we’ll see.

The U @ Va Tech (+2.5)

Some people say that it is just OSU’s luck that The U is getting better right when we get to play them the next two years. I happen to think it is great. I want to play the best teams, and right now, I think The U is for real, I’ll give the points.

Iowa @ Penn St (-9.5)

The Nittany Lions “totally redeem themselves.” Not even a close one.

Season: 6-8-0

Until next time,

College Picks Week 3

2009-09-19T12:37:00.003-04:00

A week 2 split means improvement shown. Here's week 3...

Nebraska @ Va. Tech (-3.5)
Anybody ever watched the you tube clip of the Hokies entering the stadium and their crowd going nuts? It's pretty cool. Hokies at home.

Tennessee @ Florida (-29.5)
This is an eff you game for the Gators. Gators BIG!

Florida State @ BYU (-8.0)
I'm still not sure what to think of any ACC team. I expect FSU to keep it somewhat close for awhile, but BYU has too much in the end. BYU by double digits.

Georgia @ Arkansas (+2.5)
UGA gets a good win on the road.

Texas Tech @ Texas (-18.5)
If I had a college fantasy football team, I'd want most of my starting lineup to come from this game. A late touchdown allows the red raiders to cover in a high scoring game.

Season: 4-5-0

Until next time,

Elementary Experiences Part 1

2009-09-17T18:59:00.002-04:00

Just about everyday I get asked by someone how the new job is going. It is still great, and I love it more and more each day. Who wouldn't love their job when this happens....

Scene: kids are involved in fitness stations and are loving every second of it, when a little boy (first grade) stops jogging when he gets near me to have this conversation.

Boy: Mr. M?

Me: Yes?

Boy: I just wanted to tell you that I love gym, and if you see me looking worried, it is because every time I come to gym I always worry that it is time for gym to end.

Me: Ok, well don't worry, we've got a ton of time left.

Boy: YESSSS!!! (as he gives a fist pump and continues jogging)

It makes all the difference in the world to have the kids want to be there. If you want to go into education, the decision of what age is a no-brainer.

Until next time,

College Picks Week 2

2009-09-12T10:28:00.003-04:00

After going 2-3 against the spread last week, I’m in need of a positive week. I bet with my heart last week against Notre Dame, and as we all know that always spells trouble.

Week 2 is another tough one as there aren’t really too many games of high interest, but here we go…

UCLA @ Tenn (-8.5)

I know UCLA is young, and I love the attitude Lane Kiffin brings. With a whoopin’ looming from the Gators, I expect the vols to run it up this week while they still can.

Purdue @ Oregon (-11.5)

Not sure what to expect from Oregon after the debacle in week 1. I’ll take the Boilers to score a touchdown late to cover the spread.

South Carolina @ Georgia (-7.5)

I was unimpressed with both teams in week 1. I’ll take the points, and the ol’ ballcoach.

Notre Dame @ Michigan (+3)

My heart says take the Big Ten. My mind says take the Irish. ND wins by 4.

Season- 2-3-0

Until next time,

The New Job

2009-09-06T16:45:00.002-04:00

The best part about working at Delaware City Schools for the past 3 years has been the people I have met and the friendships I have made. Unfortunately, many of those friends have moved on to better teaching situations for them and their families. One would think that you would lose contact with those people, and while I would love to talk with people more, the internet and email have made it possible for us to at least share stories every couple days.

As you know I just recently started a new position in Delaware as an elementary P.E. teacher. I get asked almost daily how the new job is treating me, and I haven't yet found the words to describe how much I like my new position, so I just respond with a simple "great." That response does not even do justice to how much happier I am working with the younger kids. When I was asked on our old-delaware-friends email list how things were going this past week, I went ahead and described my day, mainly to rub it in to the others at how good I really have it.

Before sharing that email, I'll have you know that every person on the email for one reason or another is bogged down with work, and fighting each day just to get through all the things they have on their plate. Whether it's grad school, multiple jobs, scheduling for an entire high school that is getting new students daily, or trying to win football games under not-so-perfect conditions, I had just read a story from each of these guys that made me think "wow, I'm glad I'm not that guy" and proceeded write this response...

Sounds like I'm the only one with anything really happening.

Here is what my day now consists of...

I lazily get out of bed about 6:15am and start the coffee and feed the dog. I then get on the computer and check my email and read the dispatch online. Once i hear the beep of the coffee maker i pour myself a piping hot cup of joe and take a stroll with the pup around the block. When i return, I eat breakfast, shower, and take my good ass time getting around because I dont have to be to school until most of you guys are 1 period into the day. I show up at 8:00 and waste time until 8:20 when I have to go out to the corner of channing and 37 and act as the crossing guard until 8:40 (and you fools complain about a lunch duty or something, HA, try being the safety patrol for a bunch of kids that absolutely cannot wait to cross the street and run into the school. it's like holding back a drunk student section when a trip to the national championship is in the bag). From 8:40 until 9:00 I have to say hi and give hugs to about 100 kids that come down to the gym to tell me they think I'm great (HA, fooled em). At 9:00 i have to stand for the Pledge of Allegiance and then my first class comes. For the next 40 minutes I can tell the kids whatever I want and they cheer and run around in circles like its christmas morning. Then I do that 2 more times, and at 11:00 i sit down for lunch. I read emails, browse the net, and write long replies like this one until 12:55 when my next class comes in. I then have 3 classes in the afternoon, one of which is usually kindergarten. Kindergarteners take any directions you give them, and immediately toss them out the window and just run around the gym until they are soaked in sweat, and occasionaly redirect themselves to collectively trying to tackle the teacher as a class. Once i shoo them off me, they run more laps until finally it is time to go and they gotta give you another hug before they leave. At 2:55 my day concludes with me sitting at my desk and figuring out what I will do the next day, and I head home around 3:30. By the time I reach home I'm ready for a cold one and dinner, and then hit the sack around 9:00.

Now thats work!

Note to anyone going into education: take the elementary route. The kids want to be there, and want to learn. Yes, it is exhausting to be with the little rascals all day, but in the end it is much more rewarding and much easier to come to "work" every single day.

Until next time,

College Picks Week 1

2009-09-05T09:11:00.003-04:00

There is no better time of year than College Football season. Each week I'm going to pick the big games of the week against the spread and see how I do throughout the season. If it goes well, I'm moving to Vegas and doing this full time (I'm only kind of kidding).

Week 1 is difficult because there aren't a whole lot of good games to choose from. But, here they are...

Nevada @ Notre Dame (-14.5)

I'll take Nevada and the points. Nothing would make me happier than to see ND go 0-12, but I think they win a mildly close game.

Georgia @ Oklahoma State (-5.5)

Wish I knew how good the replacements of Moreno and Stafford will be. I'll take Ok St and the experienced skilled players.

BYU vs Oklahoma (-22.5)

It's hard to pass up 22.5 points and the 20th ranked team in the nation. But Oklahoma makes a statement early in the season.

Missouri vs Illinois (-6.5)

The Illini scare me as a Buckeye fan. I think Juice gets loose and the Big Ten gets a big win.

Virginia Tech vs Alabama (-6.5)

Tide Rolls... BIG!

Season record- 0-0-0

Until next time,

Simple Strategy

2009-08-27T20:26:00.001-04:00

I enjoy game shows. I enjoy watching people smarter than me get on TV and win tons of money. What I enjoy even more than that, is answering the question or solving the puzzle quicker than the person on TV, and feeling much smarter than them even though i know i just answered the $200 question before Alex even called on anybody.

I always like to put myself in the shoes of the person on the show; What letters would be best to choose, solve or spin, how much should I wager, risk it or stop here. Naturally, whenever the person on the show doesn’t do what I think they should, I call them an idiot and question how they got on the show. That is usually followed with someone saying, “it’s easy to see that from here, they are probably under a lot of pressure.” Sounds familiar doesn’t it?

Anyway, I was watching Jeopardy the other night and saw someone lose the match because of stupid wager. The players in first and second place both got the question wrong (player 3 was way behind so I don’t remember what they answered) and the person in first place still won. Sounds right, right? NO NO NO. I’ve seen this too many times, some goofball gets on this show that can answer anything about 14^th century European authors, but simple game strategy never crosses their mind. In hopes of one of my readers getting on Jeopardy one day, I’m going to share this strategy (that you hopefully already have thought of, and will claim you have even if you haven’t), follow along…

Going into FJ, Player 1 has 10,000, Player 2 has 8000, and Player 3 is completely out of the race with 1500, so this is the last mention of Player 3. Player 2 should know right now that Player 1 is going to wager AT LEAST 6001 in order to guarantee that he will win. So, Player 2 knows that the only way he can win is if Player 1 gets the question wrong. This leaves no reason for Player 2 to wager everything. Player 2 should wager anywhere from 0 to 4000, and really has no reason not to bet the full 4000. This way, if Player 2 gets the question wrong he ends up with 4000 as an end result, and wins the match because Player 1 got the question wrong and had to bet 6001 and ends with 3999.

Sounds confusing, but it’s really very simple. I know it doesn’t always apply, but when the scores are right, I haven’t figured out why these really smart people don’t think of this.

If I only knew my European authors.

Until next time,

Worst Week for the Teacher

2009-08-17T21:58:00.005-04:00

I’m a big fan of legendary UCLA basketball coach John Wooden. I am fascinated enough with him that I have read 4 books that he has co-written and listened to another book about him on tape. One of the many sayings that he was fond of was “the journey is better than the inn.” While a positive end result in any situation, especially sports, is often extremely satisfying and enjoyable, looking back on all of my sports experiences it was the journey (the people, the struggles, the adversity, the camaraderie, the development) that I remember, not the inn (a win, or a championship).

I played 9 holes of golf this morning with a buddy from Gahanna. As we walked one of the fairways I thought about how much I hate this week, and Andy being a fellow teacher agreed. This final week of summer, to me, is even worse than the first week of school. The entire week I think about the looming school year, the lack of preparation I have managed to do, and the 9 months of actual work I will muscle through. All these depressing thoughts are compounded by the thoughts of what I didn’t do in the past 3 months. I didn’t go to Maui, played far too little golf, and only had one fire in the backyard. I sit and debate with myself countless times “should I go in and do some work or…?” I end up putting it off another day, only to sit around the house and think about the work I should be doing and how horrible it will be when I actually do go in. It’s kind of like the opposite of Coach Wooden’s saying in that I cannot wait to actually get to the inn because the mental journey of this last week flat out stinks.

The best part about the inn in this case is that it signals the beginning of a new journey for me. I am very excited about starting my new position as the physical education teacher at Conger Elementary and Carlisle Elementary. I’ll be spending 2.5 days at each school, welcoming over 750 wound up kindergarten through 4^th graders into my classroom weekly. I’m excited because 99.9% of those kids that enter will be excited to be there, a big change from the 20% that are excited at the high school.

Coach Wooden’s most famous quote may be “be quick, but don’t hurry.” And to this week I say “be quick” and while I’m excited to go back, I still say “don’t hurry” to the looming world of work.

Until next time,

Loving Dan

2009-08-02T22:18:00.003-04:00

Of course I love my wife. I love her for many many reasons.

One reason that immediately comes to mind is the fact that when we go out to dinner she rarely finishes her entire meal. I often base my dinner selection on her dinner selection. Lets say I’m looking at getting the open faced roast beef, or the turkey dinner. Dan rescues me from one of the greatest stressors I have in my life (the agony of selecting off of the Bob Evans menu) by ordering the turkey dinner. I know almost for a fact that a good portion of that will be left over, so I go ahead with the roast beef and get the best of both worlds. If you don’t get why that is such a great thing, I wonder where you find joy in life. (ha, how did I ever avoid fat camp?)

Another reason happened about 20 minutes ago and inspired this entry. We just finished watching Big Brother, turned immediately to ESPN where the Dodgers were playing the Braves and Manny Ramirez was being shown on the screen playing left field. The conversation…

Dan: (very cute chuckle) Who is that?

Me: (No answer due to the fact that it was Manny and I was thinking in my head “who doesn’t know who Manny is”)

Dan: (chuckle progresses to all out laugh) it looks like they just found some homeless man and asked him to stand out there

Me: (thinking, “wow that was pretty damn funny”) That’s Manny Ramirez, one of the greatest baseball players ever.

Dan: (still laughing) He looks like Happy Gilmore’s caddy

For someone who loves sports as much as myself, my wife’s simple observations often bring me great satisfaction. When Dan and I watch sports we see the game from totally opposite angles. I could never see Manny Ramirez as the homeless man in left field, or see Dwight Howard as just the tall boy that just keeps dunking it every time. While somewhat true, it’s a completely different viewpoint that is one of the many reasons I love my wife.

Until next time,

Practice?

2009-07-27T19:26:00.005-04:00

When I was a kid, I used to spend hours and hours shooting a basketball. I’d shoot and shoot until my imaginary game as a member of Michael’s Bulls ended with me hitting the winner over Magic or Worthy. And if I missed the shot, there’d be an imaginary late whistle, or a scorebook correction to send it to overtime. I can’t remember a loss, I hate losing and c’mon, who loses the imaginary game? Those misses that I had would eat at me. I knew in my head I shouldn’t have won the game, so it would actually lead me to shoot more and more, sometimes so late into the night that mom or dad would have to tell me to come in because they figured I was keeping the neighbors up. What I’m getting at, is that I practiced and practiced to become very good at a skill that allowed a 6’3” un-athletic white boy to play four years of college ball. A very simple equation, hours of practice = mastered skill.

I fully realize that in no way could I have ever stepped onto a basketball court and competed at a high level without that practice. So what is it about the game of golf that leads me to believe that I can just show up to a course and play at a sufficient level? I am that guy that steps on the course and expects greatness. I seriously step on every tee box and envision a great drive, a great approach, and a great putt. Then, after aligning my shot and chunking my tee shot 50 feet in front of me, I’ve got the nerve to toss my driver 30 yards down the fairway in disgust. Then, while being very mentally tough in almost every other activity I do, I let the 50 foot tee shot bother me for the next 5-10 shots and card a 4 over, 8 on a 319 yard, dead straight, par 4, what a great game. Seriously though, it’s great. What a challenge. So, why can I not get myself to go practice?

I’ll tell you why. The other day I suffered through a hole only to find myself standing over a 25 foot triple bogey putt. I knelt down and lined up the putt just like the guys on TV. I tricked myself into believing I knew what I was doing as I gave three smooth practice strokes. I then took a deep breath, and one last look at the hole. Backswing, contact, follow through, bending, breaking……….. IT’S IN THE HOLE!!!

No imaginary whistle or correction needed, who needs practice?

Until next time,

Apologizing to John Adams

2009-07-12T12:13:00.006-04:00

John,

I’m turning in my family. That’s right, I want them prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law for raising me to ‘mis-celebrate’ one of our nations most glorious and celebrated days, July 4th.

You see, while reading my buddy Brent’s blog (click here) about celebrating this historic day, I realized that for 25 years July 4^th has meant goodbyes, sadness, 12 hour drives in a minivan stocked with 6 adults, 2 dogs, and twice as much luggage as needed, and the end of my absolute favorite time of year.

Each year right around this time I start looking forward to next year’s beach week. Beach week is when my family and the entire Zulauf side rent a house on the beach and have exhausting days of sitting in the sand listening to the ocean, playing bocce ball, boogey-boarding, and drinking yuengling. It is hands down my favorite time of year. It’s like a week-long celebration of good times and family that we get to look forward to all year, pretty much the very thing you wanted us to do when you spoke of July 4^th some 200 years ago.

The problem is that each year the celebration ends within a day or two of July 4. And to make matters worse I really only get to see my cousins 3, maybe 4 times a year because they live in Virginia. And it’s really cool too because when we do get together it’s like we see each other all the time. We hit mid-season form with smart-ass comments, debates, and storytelling within minutes. There’s really never a dull moment. For me it’s like having two brothers for a week that you never really fight with, awesome right? I want all this used as evidence against my Uncle Harry for taking a job in the mid 1980’s that moved them from Columbus to Richmond. I know it has worked out great for them, they are all happy, but come on, I’ve got to be a little selfish here because if they still lived here I’d see them all of the time.

I’ve got to confess as well. I don’t exactly get over goodbyes all that well. So, when I do get home in time for fireworks and parades, my emotions are still so low that I don’t do anything to celebrate freedom. As a matter of fact I do the opposite. Like this year I slept for 6 hours (partly because I drove from 1:30am-6) and then got up and pouted about being home for a solid 2 hours, then made a very lame attempt at celebrating by watching fireworks from the sidewalk in front of our house while throwing a fake “ooo” or “ahh” out of my state of depression every 10 booms or so, but really never got into it.

So anyway, I just want to say I’m sorry. I really haven’t celebrated July 4^th the way it is supposed to be celebrated. I’m prepared for whatever sentence my family and I receive, just please keep it to under 348 days, we’re leaving for the beach.

Thanks,

Scott

Harmless Fun

2009-06-27T23:09:00.000-04:00

I feel like summer hasn’t even started yet. This is the first June since I was 7 that I didn’t play golf, probably the first June ever that I never went to the pool just for fun, and also the first June in which the most exciting thing I did was drive to Grove City, Pennsylvania to film a dance recital for 224 Productions.

I wrote that last sentence as a joke but unfortunately had to think for a second of something that was better. Thinking about it though, I really did have a great time on the ride back. Brent and I talked about many things, but my favorite happened to be the topic of what we did with our friends when we were young for what we called “harmless fun.” “Harmless fun” was defined as something you did that you definitely shouldn’t have been doing, but really couldn’t get in too much trouble for, and if your parents knew about it (especially our respective pairs) they would act super mad but really would be thinking inside “thank God they are doing that and not shrooms” and would make you apologize to people or something embarrassing.

Anyway, we told of TPing and the usual mischief, but Brent and I both brought to the table one specific act that neither neighborhood gang thought up themselves…

Brent and his buddies carried on the tradition of taking a pick up truck around town and piling up yard waste bags full of leaves into the bed. They would then take all of the bags and rip them open in the middle of someone’s front yard. I know everyone reading this is thinking, “how awful that would be to wake up and look out and see all of that, let alone pick it all up.” Exactly right, AWFUL. The tradition I speak of though is due to Brent’s first experience with this being picking up the leaves when a group of his father’s football players did it to his house when he was a kid. This certainly doesn’t condone the behavior, but c’mon, it’s hilarious to think about.

I then told the story of “dead homies.” My friend’s parents used to stuff a pair of jeans and flannel shirt full of leaves and put a pumpkin head on them to make a dummy for the front porch at Halloween time. We borrowed the dummy, replaced the pumpkin with a duct taped group of newspapers and a ball cap, and also taped an old pair of tennis shoes on him, then named the dummy “Dre.” We would take Dre down to the bottom of High Point hill and place him under a streetlight just off of the road face down with an overturned bicycle laying next to him. We would hide back in a wooded area about 30 yards from the road and roar laughing each time someone would come to a very concerned stop only to realize it was just Dre. Another AWFUL act, something that would probably be frowned upon, but now that it is over and done with, again I say c’mon that’s hilarious to think about.

Yes both stories are silly, immature little things we used to do. However, they provided a million laughs then, and also got us back from Grove City, PA in good spirit.

Disclaimer: Please do not attempt either scenario.

Until next time,

Properly Interviewed

2009-06-09T11:43:00.001-04:00

I interviewed at Licking Valley Middle School this morning at 8:15. A lot of things were going through my head on the way out there, probably much of the same things anyone going to an interview would have. How do I respond to this, how do I respond to that, what if they ask me this, what sounds better this or that.

My biggest concern though happened to be whether or not I would actually get to show who I am. I have always been pretty good at speaking with people. I don’t really get nervous, I can talk about a variety of topics, I have experiences to share, and for the most part I think I come across as a confident person, which has to look good to a prospective employer. I was concerned that I wouldn’t get the freedom to let myself shine in the interview. In the teaching interview process, often times the first interview is a set 25 questions in which the employer is looking for key phrases or buzzwords that seem universal to the teaching profession. I’d imagine I do an average job answering those questions, and probably more because of the confidence I answer them with than the actual key phrases I include (those phrases are most likely the ones that were in the text book we were supposed to read for the education courses at The Harvard, need I say more).

Anyway, in the interview, we started with those 25 questions, and I feel as though I did a pretty good job. A typical interview that I went through 3 years ago would have ended there, however in this interview that was only the beginning. We chatted for another 30 minutes about teaching styles, district philosophies, where we each had come from, building goals, life goals, coaching experiences, and more. I felt like I got the chance to truly show who I was, not just to answer the same 25 questions everyone knows are coming and can have a pre-planned answer to. The Principal genuinely tried to find out what type of teacher he was hiring, and more importantly, he tried to find out what type of person will be representing his building to the students, staff, and community of Licking Valley Schools.

If I am not the guy chosen for the job, then I feel like I at least was given a fair shot, and I did my best. I hope that most interviews are like this nowadays. I have seen first hand in the past 3 years that the person is much more important than the teacher. There are teachers that are extremely qualified for the academic portion of the field, but I truly believe that no matter how much of an expert a person is on the subject, if they don’t have the personality to relate to others, their message is not nearly as effective.

I feel confident that I showed myself as both a quality teacher and quality person. (despite what you all would say about me)

Note: I had to put that pathetic joke in just because when I wrote the last sentence I pictured my dad calling someone up to recommend them to an employer. Then turning around and letting the person know that “I told them you were a good person, despite what everyone always says about you.”

Second note: You know it’s a terrible attempt at comedy when you have to explain your lame joke.

Yes, this is the person Licking Valley might get. I hope middle school kids laugh at lame jokes.

Until next time,

School District GM

2009-06-03T15:45:00.000-04:00

I’ve been thinking lately as I go through the hiring/ firing/ application process about just that, the hiring/ firing/ application process for a school district. A couple things come to mind…

1. When you hire a teacher, if you are a well-paying, high quality district, you’re basically hiring a teacher for life. Now, are there a few that don’t continue on for whatever reason? Yes, but I’ve got to believe that with the way the economy is Today, the big districts are hiring the same teachers they will have in 25 years.

2. With that said, each district wants to save money so they are hiring teachers with say 5 or less years of experience. Because of the way teachers are paid, by experience not performance, the young and more inexperienced are the cheaper ones to have on the books.

So, districts are hiring the best of the cheapest teachers Today, then 25 years down the road all of these teachers are going to be getting paid a pretty nice salary, all at the same time. There really isn’t any thought process of spacing out salaries such as one that would be used with a professional sports team. This is kind of a scary thought for a teacher right now. I do believe our economy is going to turn around, but still, it seems to me that districts are going to have to start subtly changing the way they pay teachers, or at some point they are going to have a ton of teachers making a ton of money, and will have no way of getting rid of them.

This is completely just a thought I have had, and I admittedly don’t know all of the science behind it, but I propose that a district hires a “GM.” Each district should come up with a salary cap, and then it is this person’s job to keep them under the salary cap not only in the current year, but should also plan ahead. For example, many districts now have the goal of keeping the average experience of new hires at 3 (for every person with 6 years experience you must hire one with 0). That sounds good, but 27 years from now the district is paying all of these people the max salary. The district GM would be responsible for not putting an exact number on the average experience, but would be responsible for advising the district when it would be wise to go ahead and hire someone with 15 years of experience, and pay them that way in order to maintain balance throughout the entire pay scale. Big districts would benefit too because a lot of really good teachers get “stuck” in smaller districts because they would lose years of experience going elsewhere. So, when you hire the person with 15 years experience you are only paying them for 15 more years or so, rather than 27. Then you can hire someone with 0 years experience to replace them, and the new crop of teachers that were hired at the beginning of this ultra-confusing paragraph have 12-15 years experience and the process is spaced out better.

I’m not saying every district has this problem right now, but with so many “experienced” teachers getting ready to retire (or so that’s the rumor) I think a thought process such as this might work. I realize there are many more details that could have been included in this, and would have to in order to put it into operation. Who knows, they may already operate like this, but I thought I would add my 2 cents just incase anyone is looking for a GM (and it would only cost them the level of 3 years experience).

Until next time,

Phasing LeBron

2009-05-26T15:32:00.002-04:00

I’m a witness. Yes, I mean that as a reference to my allegiance to the Cleveland Cavaliers. But also, I mean that because I think I have it solved. Ok, maybe not solved, but during this weekend’s happenings I “witnessed” the only thing that seems to phase the great LBJ.

At this point he is the most indestructible force in any major sport. He is a 6’9”, 275 pound freight train that can… and can… (I could use the next 250 words to attempt to write what he can do at that size, but only your imagination can approach doing it justice).

History will remember LeBron’s 2009 playoffs with his 24 ft three-pointer with 1.0 second on the clock to win game 2 of the Eastern Conference Finals. I thought it was a fabulous shot, one that should go down in history as a great clutch shot. Was it the best of all time? Not quite. It was the greatest player in the game, coming up big in the biggest of moments. I, at least for the time being, will remember the happenings of this past weekend through two additional moments that I have appropriately titled, “Phasing LeBron.”

Notice the title wasn’t “stopping LeBron.” I don’t think anyone, or anything at this point could stop LeBron. As you watch him play you see him smacked in the head, clothes lined, kicked, and the rest, and he continues to plow through people “un-phased.” The greatest example of him being “un-phased” was after he hit the winner in game 2. If you watch the replay, which has been played an estimated 13000 times since, you will notice that as he turns to run down court, Sasha Pavlovic (6-7 235 lbs) wraps his arms around him and basically hangs on for dear life. LeBron proceeds to carry Pavlovic a couple feet and then does a jumping chest bump with Anderson Varejao. WHAT?!?!? Carrying an extra 235 lbs and does a jumping chest bump with a guy that is 7 feet tall. Tell me if he did that at the NFL combine GM’s wouldn’t exempt him from the other stations and just move on to everyone else because they know he’ll be the number one pick. People are crazy to think he wouldn’t be a stud in the NFL.

But anyway, fast forward to Game 3 where I noticed the film that every NFL team would be watching to at least “phase” the King. It wasn’t the NBA’s defensive player of the year, Dwight Howard, nor was it any magic player that was guarding him, it was the basketball itself. As LeBron threw down a dunk in the second quarter and turned to run up court, the ball bounced up and hit him in the side of the face. His reaction is the same as Kramer’s in the Seinfeld episode “The Magic Lougie” when Keith Hernandez spits at he and Newman. His head snapped back, knees nearly buckled, and for the first time in a long time, LeBron looked off-balance. Really? This is the same guy that time and time again blasts “un-phased” through all of the hacks, clothes lines, kicks...

To me, that bounce of the basketball represented the element of surprise. LeBron has arguably the greatest court vision of any player to date. His great vision allows him to be not only a great passer, but to be a great scorer because he can analyze the defense and already knows when the aforementioned contact is going to come, thus eliminating any surprise factor effecting his shot. The Magic have become that element of surprise this series for the Cavaliers. For over a month we have heard nothing but LeBron vs Kobe in the finals, causing the other teams in the playoffs to sort of fade out of focus. I’m certain that as much as the Cavs have tried to avoid it, the image of them vs the Lakers in the finals has been right in front of them. Let’s hope that the bounce of the basketball that knocked LeBron a bit off balance, serves as a wake up call to he and his teammates, so that we can remember his shot, rather than the Cavs getting surprised by the Magic.

Until next time,

You've Got Meal

2009-05-16T10:21:00.004-04:00

Many readers of this blog have at one time or another received a picture message from yours truly. Some include an explanation in the form of a caption, and some are just pictures of random things. Ever since I selected a phone with a camera on it, I have been entertained, for whatever reason, by the ability to snap a shot of something, and immediately send it to 10-90 people. Two years ago, I was introduced to the idea of sending pictures of a prepared meal to let all of your friends know what you are about to eat. I was with Jord in Delaware and he received a picture message from his buddy Fritz with a picture of his dinner. Fritz was about to take part in a smorgasbord of meats prepared on the grill. Jord showed me the picture, and my reaction was “oooo.” The “oooo” wasn’t only for how good the meat looked, but also because I was fascinated with the idea of sending a picture of a meal.

I know. It sounds uneventful, dumb, stupid, less than entertaining, dull, immature, and just plain waste-of-time-ish, to everyone who is too good to appreciate a good picture of a meal. However, I am here to tell you that picture mealing has become something I look forward to each week and I encourage everyone to participate in one of my favorite hobbies.

Incase you haven’t had the good fortune of being included on one of my picture meal lists, I am introducing this to my entire blogosphere, (ha, both of you).

Until next time,

Disobeying Doctor's Orders

2009-05-07T11:20:00.002-04:00

So Coach and I made our springtime visit to the vet this morning. The heartworm check, urinalysis, and medication pick up, you know, the routine stuff. The stuff that is about as routine as an oil change. But, like we all know, an oil change is rarely routine.

An oil change and a vet visit have a lot in common, and the most unfortunate thing about both of these is that I know little to nothing about cars, and my expertise on dogs goes about as far as seeing her tail wag and knowing she’s happy (absolute brilliance). The scary thing about both of these conditions is that I think the people at the shop, and the people at the vet office know exactly that. They could tell me anything, and I suppose I have to take them at their word (and then spend money).

Here is Today’s story. Coach developed a bit of a limp this week. She must have hurt her back right leg while playing with her buddy Rocky down the street on Tuesday evening or just laying on it wrong. Either way, the limp has been off and on but has not been accompanied by any whimpering or any other sign of pain. Of course it is bothering her, or she would walk on it all the time. However, it isn’t bothering her nearly enough to cause her to not want to go on a walk, not want to jump on the bed, or not want to hang out the window while resting on just her back legs on the way to the vet, so she’s fine right? (this is a scheduled appointment, it is not because of her limp). So we enter the vet and she has blood drawn for the heartworm, they clip her nails, weigh her, (again the routine) and then because Coach has decided that this was a perfect opportunity for people to feel sorry for her and give her an extra treat, she decides this will be her time of the day to limp (side note: she doesn’t limp that much at all, she did this same thing 4 months ago, and got over it in about 12 hours, and has been fine since). So the vet wants to check it out. So she begins to feel her legs. She is doing the exact same thing I did with Coach when I was trying to see if there was any pain at the touch. My diagnosis was that there was no pain at the touch, and Coach will eventually get over it. Her diagnosis was that there was definitely something wrong, and Coach is obviously very tense, so they’ll need to get X-rays. CAPTAIN OBVIOUS. What gave it away? The blatantly obvious limp? You think she is doing that for dramatic affect? First of all, she is tense because you picked her up and placed her on a steel table that she is slipping all over the place on, and has been tense on since you put her up there 5 minutes ago and started pricking her with needles to draw blood and raised it up with a motor to make her feel even more uncomfortable and... (you get the point). If there is a dog that comes in there and is not tense on there then I think THAT is when you start to diagnose problems. Dogs hate that damn table. Second, you still have her on the damn table!!!

Ok, here is the hard part. With a car, it’s very easy to say “alright, thanks, I’ll keep an eye on the specs for the rotary girder.” With a dog, the guilt I have by not spending the $400 for an X-ray just sits in me. It’s horrible. Coach cannot sit there and tell me how bad it really is, I just have to guess. I have to be (in my mind) this horrible person that isn’t treating their dog right because he won’t go find the real problem. If I knew for sure that this is something that HAD to be done, I’d pay the $400 in a heartbeat. But, because my expertise in dogs tells me that she is as happy as ever, still wants to go on walks all the time, still jumps around to meet me when I come home from work, sprints out the front door to greet Dan when she comes home, hops on and off the bed willingly, plays with the neighborhood dogs, chases her tennis ball until complete exhaustion sets in, and doesn’t limp 95% of the time, I’m going to delay the procedure and go against doctors orders.

The unfortunate part is that the $400 is just to identify the problem, chances are they tell me to keep an eye on it, and give me a $2500 solution if it gets any worse. So, I’ve decided to skip the $400, and go to step 2, keep an eye on it. If she ever turns down a walk, or decides not to use her leg for an extended period of time, then I’ll take her in drop the big bucks.

Besides I think Coach would rather the $400 go to more rawhides and tennis balls anyway.

Until next time,

The Usual

2009-05-01T17:00:00.001-04:00

I have always been someone who thoroughly enjoys “people watching.” People interacting with one another, to me, are one of the most phenomenal things to sit back and watch. I love thinking about social experiments, social networking, and social class and how each of these things actually come to be.

I also like to think about “social status.” The fascinating thing about social status is that the only way one really obtains a social status is by being judged by someone else. Judging people is a whole different blog, but for anyone to say they don’t judge others on a regular basis, whether good or bad, is kidding themselves. (I’m not talking negative-stereotype style judgment, I’m just talking human-nature-first-impression style judgment. whatever, I’ll write about it later.)

There are thousands of “social statuses” I could talk about, but I’m convinced one of the most prestigious of statuses has to be that of being a “regular” at a local breakfast joint. While for some people it could be a depressing, eating disorder-inducing status, I view it as a rather comforting feeling of accomplishment.

There is only one way to accurately judge this, and to me you are a regular when you can walk in and order “the usual.” I am happy to announce to everyone that I have finally achieved this celebrated status. I cannot remember the exact date, but it was early one Friday morning of this school year. I got up early, as I do every Friday, and made my way to Jack’s Diner on route 23 in Delaware to meet Brent for breakfast. We walked in and sat down at “our” booth, and when Danielle (“our” waitress) greeted us, she said, “you guys want the usual?”

WOW!!!! What a feeling! We had done it! We had reached the peak of social status. We were able to order “the usual.” It was kind of like that feeling that Ace Ventura probably got when he couldn’t connect Einhorn and Finkle, and then finally his little dog laid down on the picture of Ray Finkle’s head and he saw the face with long hair (Ok, maybe bad analogy, but to me it makes perfect sense) and then was overcome with excitement. I find myself wanting the Diner even more now, my excitement is more each week because I know when I walk in, I don’t have to say anything. My coffee, and water come as I sit, and all it takes is a nod of the head for “the usual.”

Our weekly trip to the Diner gives me something to constantly look forward to. It is a symbol of a Friday, sort of a weekend appetizer. I’ve heard the saying that the only certain things in life are death and taxes. True I guess, but another certainty is where I’ll be for breakfast next Friday morning, the usual.

Until Next Time,

The Year of Action

2009-04-27T15:28:00.003-04:00

It was two years ago to the day that I sat in my apartment in Delaware, Ohio with a ring in my pocket and a view of the future that didn’t go much further than the very moment I would remove that ring from its box. Up until this point I was still riding the same wave that I had ridden all my life, the nice, smooth, easy-breaking wave that involved a fairly predictable ride with a very slight chance of a wipe out. I rarely veered off course for two reasons. 1) I was having a blast. There was no reason for change. I am very fortunate to have caught the wave I did, and wouldn’t go back and change anything even if I could. 2) I admittedly had always been all-talk. Whether it was pulling the trigger on some impromptu business idea, getting a patent on some crazy idea the G.M.G.I. (to be explained later) came up with, or committing myself to something that changed my life forever. I saw each come and go, forming into little more than an idea to debate over a beer or two.

Fast forward 24 hours. I was about to become engaged (forgive the pun) in the ride of a lifetime. Not only did I propose to my high school sweetheart, but, I started a string of events that have since brought my future into focus beyond 24 hours. I’m calling it “the year of action.” About a year after our engagement, Danielle and I bought a house. Then we adopted my best friend, Coach, our 1.5 year old lab/ boxer/ pit mix. Then we got married, and went on a honeymoon, and bought the all-important big screen TV. Then Brent Wise and I acted upon a 2 year old idea and started a videography business, 224 Productions. And now, I’m starting a blog!

So why is a blog next? I’m not completely sure. But, a few months ago I declared that I was going to write a blog about all of the interesting things that happen to me. Whether or not people read it is the least of my concerns, but for me it’s another idea that, in its own way, provides a sense of accomplishment.

I hope this becomes a good place to share laughs, tell stories, and to stay in touch with family and friends. On behalf of myself, WELCOME!!!

Until next time,

Scotty Mo